Thursday, October 8, 2015


It's been like 6 weeks or so since I did the PRP injection in my knee for my torn meniscus. My doctor told me to stop running and wearing heels for the time period to give it a chance to work. I said cool, that seems like a totally reasonable course of action. So I made it so. Literally all of my coworkers commented on my height at some point. All of them.

For a while, I was thinking the PRP may be working. And then, mehhhhh. And then definitely not. I'd put it on the same level as a steroid injection. Or botox. Something that helps, but you have to keep going back for more. Honestly, I'm not sure there would have been any relief at all had I been running during that time. I'm not saying it didn't work (okay, I am saying it didn't work)

So as I passed the 6 week mark at the end of September, I'm thinking about my next move. Ain't nobody got time for surgery right now. Prolly just gonna deal with it like a boss, amiright? If it's already torn, I can't really do more damage except maybe (but unlikely) tear it more, and at that point what's the outcome? Either way it will require surgery to repair, so why not get back into doing the things I love? Being tall average height and running. I mean it's gonna hurt regardless.

So I started running again last week. I ran a mile and there was no change in pain. Let me tell you how good that first run felt after almost 2 months of nothing, y'all. Dem endorphins. The next day I ran 1.25 miles with no change in pain. Now I'm up to 2 miles with no change in pain. I'm sold. Slowly I'll progress with mileage, but I'm not in a hurry or anything. No reason to go balls out with it. 

I will say I'm out. of. shape. It's a struggle to run a 10 minute mile, y'all. I'll bounce back, though, just gotta keep on keepin' on. Buildin' muscle. Gettin' faster. Ridin' dirty.

Pro tip, I wear a compression sleeve or compression leggings with my brace and it feels a lot better. Part of my issue with running is my leg feels unreliable, so the compression sleeve combined with the brace gives it some extra stability. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Kids and vegetables

My spawn used to eat whatever I put in front of him, and then I stopped breast feeding and it all went tits up. Just kidding, but seriously. I don't know if there's some kind of magical unicorn dust you can sprinkle on vegetables to get your kid to eat them, but I'd buy it. (Turns out that is a thing and it's called "butter and sugar".) Is it on Amazon? Prime or no deal.

He'll eat fruit allll day long. We make "Hulk Smoothies", which is a protein smoothie with extra fruit and spinach to turn it green/trick him into eating spinach. Last month we went to his regular checkup and the doctor herself told him he needs to be eating his vegetables so he can grow big and strong like a superhero.

Y'all. Alllll of a sudden now he's had an epiphany. The doctor said he needs to eat veggies, so NOW it's for real. He ate Brussels sprouts. He ate asparagus. He ate zucchini. He ate carrots. WHAT..? Whose child is this? I mean it's not like I've been telling him that for the past several years or anything. Respect my authority, child.

At least he'll eat 'em now. My baby is growing up.

Friday, October 2, 2015

House Nerky

Have you ever jokingly posted a snarky, profanity-laden online dating profile because you are SO DONE with it only to have it answered by someone who is unexpectedly easy to talk to considering he's not your usual type, who then asks you to go bowling and eat burgers on your first date and he gets the exact same score both games you bowl (98) and you get a 136 one game and 60 the next game, pretty much perfectly demonstrating his consistency and your all-over-the-place-ness? And then you're relieved when he asks you out again even though you messed up the names of the Star Wars movies like a putz, and you agree partly because he looks really cool on his motorcycle and you want to ride it and partly because it's been a while since you've had a second date? And then that second date he borrows a helmet from a friend so you can ride his bike, because safety first, and that turns into countless dates and then your kids all play together and get along and weeks turn into months and dates turn into netflix and chill and then eventually you're like, dammit it's really far to drive over here, we should probably buy a castle to live in, and then he sends you a listing for a house that's more reasonable and then you're like shit is he for real so you ask him, "Um, wait...what? Wait. What?" because you're smooth AF and he's all, "Might as well," because he really knows how to make a girl feel special and then you're like, oh damn should we get a realtor? And then all of a sudden you're cleaning your condo that you bought and decorated on your own and it's listed for sale and holy shit you're going halfsies on a mortgage with a man with tattoos who's into fitness and cooks for you shirtless like you like, because you went to look at that one house and it was perfect for your family merger?

Oh, just me then? YOLO.

I can't wait to paint ALL the nerd murals in House Nerky, y'all. If it all goes according to plan, my condo and his house will sell quickly and we'll close on House Nerky at the end of the month.

To answer the burning question(s): No, we're not married, engaged or pregnant. I know you were thinking it, don't even lie. We're just a bold, modern couple buying a house together out of wedlock, because we're GD rebels.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Pumpkin shmumpkin

Fall is here. I only know that because of pumpkin. flavored. everything. I'd drink the fool out of a grande 2 pump nonfat PSL, but I ain't no basic white girl. I'm complicatedThe real hero of the season is the sweet, simple deliciousness that is a caramel apple with sprinkles. There's more of a risk there, too, because what if you bite into the apple and it's mushy? I like to live dangerously with my seasonal treats.

With Fall comes cooler* weather which makes driveway workouts more pleasant. A couple of weeks ago I cleaned out my garage like an adult and carried 12 pallets allll the way around my house to the back yard one at a time. I love when regular life is a workout and I can skip weights. And since we're on the subject...does anyone need 12 pallets? I know a girl for that. (it's me)

*in most places. Texas excluded.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Yeah. Me neither.

Do you ever eat awesome all day long, like spot on 200 calorie meals every 2 and a half hours with no slip ups, only to sit down after you put your kid to bed to write a blog post and watch some DVR'd Zachary Levi and accidentally inhale 9,000 Reese's Pieces? neither.

Do you ever mindlessly snack on Hershey's kisses that some chump left on your desk until you realize that it's only 10am and you've eaten like 15?

Um, me neither.

Do you ever tell your kid you'll take him out for donuts and have every intention of skipping donuts but wind up with an old fashioned pumpkin spice donut and PSL instead?

Oh. Me neither.

Do you ever salivate all day about the super delish and healthy dinner you have planned only to wind up working late, having to make 2 stops before you get home and then lose a battle of willpower at 7:45 and eat an entire day's worth of calories in one meal at Chicken Express?

This certainly did not happen to me on Monday.

I absolutely eat 100% clean all the time. I'm perfect in all the ways that exist. I'm a gift to society, really. You're welcome, world. 

The point is, don't get down about all the kale smoothies and 2 hour gym seshes people post about. Chances are they've eaten an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting too. (Samoas 4 lyfe.) Don't beat yourself up about it, just move on. Last night instead of nomming the ice cream I wanted, I ate a can of green beans with some tea. I mean, that's a little weird, but whatever it was healthy and easy. I'll do that all day long.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Why gym and I broke up


It's big news. I've decided that exercising is bad for you and french fries are tasty so I'm just gonna slippy-doo back into my old ways. I have a manfriend now, I can let it alllll go.

Just kidding.

I did quit, though. It was a while ago that I decided that I wasn't getting my money's worth out of my dues. My kid didn't really like the play area, so I felt guilty leaving him there - to be clear, this is not because I felt bad about taking time for myself. It's because I felt bad that he didn't enjoy the play area. Because of that, if I missed my lunch time gym sesh, which became a more and more frequent occurrence as my job has recently started to get a lot busier, then I just wouldn't go because I didn't want to have to drop him off in the kid zone. And if I didn't go to the gym, chances are I didn't workout.

Naw, that's not gonna work for me. Time for a habit change. (I rilly wanna lose 3 pounds.)

Plus, there were minor things I hated about it. Like how the swimming lanes were always taken. The classes were always packed. Everybody had permanent stink eye. And you had to sneak selfies. Y'all know I love selfies. 

I've missed the classes, but not as much as I thought. My kid and I do zumba in the living room and yoga sometimes too. (It's just as adorbs as it sounds.) He likes punching my punching bag with me and I'm also bringing back the good ol' driveway workout. Aw yissssss. Gotta look bangin' in my bridesmaid dress for my friend's wedding in November. And also just for life in general. 

If Batman can get Batman-level ripped by doing pushups in a pit in the desert, then I can probably get a little bit of arm definition by November by doing pushups and handstands in my driveway, right? 

Selfie game strong.

Monday, September 21, 2015


I love awards shows. They're such a clusterfuck of emotions garnished with sparkles and smoky eye makeup. (Ahem, Amy Schumer.) Speaking of makeup, I wish I knew how to contour. I mean, I could YouTube it, but that seems like a lot of time/money I'm not willing to spend.

The Emmys were on last night in case you missed it and/or threw your phone out the window. Cutout dresses are in. Acceptance is in. Strong, funny women are in. Jokes about Donald Trump are in. Game of Thrones is in. Thanks to my manfriend's HBO login, I don't even need the one Andy Samberg gave out to watch it. Do you think GoT got so many awards because they think George R.R. Martin has the power to unexpectedly and violently kill off people in real life, too? It's a possibility.

This award show wasn't as much of a learning experience for me as the MTV ones are, it was more about that spoiler lyfe. The good news is I don't feel obligated to watch Sons of Anarchy anymore. The bad news is a lot of my favorite shows weren't even mentioned. Masterchef Junior is way better than The Voice. Come on, guys, these 6-12 year olds are totes adorbs when they cook things I can't even pronounce. And what about The Walking Dead? Not even a nomination? Welcome to snubsville.

I'm watching Fear the Walking Dead now until the real thing is back (October 12, yessss). It's very stressful. Not bad overall, I just miss Rick. And Michonne. And Carol. And Daryl. And I want to see what's the what with Morgan now. 

I just realized that this post is about nothing. So, there's that. Happy Monday, nerds.