How I Wound Up with a Gay Pride Stormtrooper Crucifix

Warning: Blasphemy ahead.

If the notion of a Gay Pride Stormtrooper Jesus is upsetting or offensive to you, you should probably just stop here. That way everyone is happy and we can still be friends!

It all started when we watched one of the Star Wars themed episodes of Family Guy a couple of weeks ago. I can't remember which one it was, but in it there is a Stormtrooper wedding and in the church there is a Stormtrooper Jesus on a cross. It's the tiniest detail, but in the few seconds of that scene we saw it and exploded with how fantastic it was. And then I realized I had all the ingredients to make that happen in our house and now our house is so much more awesome.
Months earlier, I went to the grocery store and found the saddest and most awesome cupcake of all time, and I just had to have it:
It has all of my favorite things! Star Wars! Rainbows! Cake! Clearance!

I submitted it to CakeWrecks, because how could you not? It raises so many questions. In particular, why does a rainbow-iced cupcake have a Stormtrooper on it? Is it a gay pride Stormtrooper? It was $.29, and even though the icing had partially slid off, it was still perfectly good cake, so I bought it.

After the cupcake but before we saw the Family Guy episode, we bought a piece of furniture at a garage sale and this was in it:
Me: I found Jesus!

B: ...Where was he?

Me: In the back of a drawer in this piece of furniture we just got. I wonder if that's okay, like how you're not supposed to let a flag touch the ground. Can you just put Jesus anywhere?

B: ...I really don't know.

Me: What should I do with it? I CAN'T throw it away. That's like guaranteeing a one way ticket to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

So I kept it. I put him back in the drawer he came from, which turned into a "random stuff" crafty ideas drawer where my Stormtrooper ring also resided. My gay pride Stormtrooper ring.

Then we saw the Star Wars Family Guy episode (I wish I could tell you which one it was (because there are 3), but I don't remember) and worlds collided and now this is on the wall in my living room:
I'm going to get a real cross to put him on because it's silly that he's just on the wall.
Yes, that's why it's silly.


  1. "i found jesus!" lol that's probably how he ended up in the drawer in the first place, someone broke a crucifix and couldn't bare to through him in the trash so they stuck him in the drawer as a gift with purchase! you are so lucky. my mom found a woody in the garage sale dresser she bought (the toy story character..not the other thing :P)


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