It is what it is.

Warning, broken bone pictures ahead.

I mean, it's not like it's super gross. Unless you have a really weak stomach. Even then, you'll probably be fine. It's mostly just bruising. Stop making fun of my gross toe. 

Here's what it looked like the morning after I broke it:
It's not so bad on it's own, but when you compare it to my other toe, holyshitelephanttoegetitawayyyyyyy. 

 And here's what it looks like now:
Significantly less swelling. Still some, but at least it's semi-normal now.

The bruising is still pretty intense, but it's getting better.
(Yes my carpet is green. It kind of grows on you.)

My toenails have crackle nail polish on them. It's kind of neat, but I definitely wouldn't pay full price for a bottle. It's kind of goopyweird and only semi-crackly. The brand is Nicole. 

Doc says I might be able to run a short distance (as in, not 9 miles) next weekend if I stay off of it until then. By "stay off of it", surely he means "try to mostly walk on the outside of your foot and tape that shit together and definitely don't wear heels, but I understand that you have a toddler to chase around and nobody's perfect", right?

My expert taping skillz. It's not legit unless you spell it with a "z".

Under normal circumstances it takes 4-6 weeks for broken bones to heal. Probably closer to 4 for a "cracked" - as in not broken all the way through - bone like mine. I have been using laser therapy 2-3 times/day since to speed up the recovery because I have a half marathon to run in 6 weeks and I've only done 8 miles so far. This shit needs to HEAL. 6 weeks recovery? Ain't nobody got time fo' dat. Try 2 weeks and I'll listen.

Lastly, can I just say that this is the first time I've really missed running? Like, in my life, y'all. I crave it like a drug now. What is happening?

And now it's time for Adventures in Single Life
(I said that with a boomy voice in my head. Try it.)

This weekend I went out with a friend and our server joined us for drinks after his shift ended. It was awkward and forced and he said he isn't a hipster or anything (even though he had awkward facial hair and skinny jeans on), but he "doesn't listen to mainstream music". Verbatim, y'all. I guess being a hipster is too mainstream now. And then there was silence as we all judged each other. Moral of the story: Not all douchebags are hipsters and not all hipsters are douchebags, but hipster douchebags are definitely douchebags. 

Guys: Maybe don't act all elitist when you're hitting on us. It's mostly annoying and it's probably not gonna get you anywhere. Just a word of advice from the complicated mind of a woman.

Okay, he didn't work at Starbucks. He did however work at a well known chain of "bar and grills". So there.

He totally didn't ask for a smooch though, so win?


  1. That toe looks PAINFUL girl!!
    Hope you heal quickly!!!


Post a Comment