Disney Princess Half

So my bestie and I ran the Disney Princess Half on Sunday. Am I an asshole for going to Disney World without my son? No. Homeboy needs to earn his keep before I take him to the parent-nightmare that is Disney. Plus, he's 18 months old. He wouldn't have gotten anything out of it anyway.

It was 13.1 miles of slow people and humidity. I have never sweat that much in my life. I literally had to peel my clothes off when we were done, and not in a good way, y'all. Not in a good way. I wouldn't do that half again. I mean, it was totally fun because my bestie and I just made fun of shit the whole time, but as far as a serious race, it just wasn't.


ALL of those people are walking. Like chumps.

It's REALLY EFFING HARD (twss) to run around all of those walkers. We ran an entire extra mile just weaving in and out of people. We know, because we tracked it on our phones and wound up with 14.16 miles. We averaged a 14 minute mile, which is way slower than either of us trained at. Also, probably less than a mile of the race was in the actual park. Most of it was on back roads.

So when the advertisement says "run through Cinderella's castle!" it really means "slow to a crawl through Cinderella's castle!" It was so claustrophobic in that tunnel that we almost died. At least we didn't pass out and shit our pants.

Part of the issue is that this was our first half marathon. We had no idea what to put as far as completion time when we signed up, so we got stuck in the last corral for fatties and slow pokes. I kid, but seriously. Now that I know, I'll give a better estimate next time so maybe I won't have to try to run around so many people.

Oh, and there were 26,000 motherfuckers in this race. And at least 3/4 of them had tutus or a full-on costume. That's a lot of glitter.

Leia represent.

Also my bestie is awesome and made me a matching Disney Princess Leia chapstick:

It's KIwi-PO flavored you guys. KIWI-PO.

She also made all of our shirts because she's crafty and awesome like that, and as long as we're listing shit she did, she made mine and her tutus also. She basically did everything and I just showed up.

In my defense, I have a full time job, a baby, and class at night. I'm busy, not lazy. She's still wicked awesome though, so thanks Brit! 

At least the medal is pretty:
My face is not as pretty. 

So in short, I wouldn't do this race again. It was too many damn people and a lot of money to pay to run outside on back roads of Florida. I had fun with my best friend, but that's just because we're awesome.

Stay tuned for a post later this week about the most embarrassing, awkward, and awesome picture of us that we took on this trip. It's the funniest picture we've ever taken, and we've been friends for 11 years through awkward high school phases, so that's really saying something.

Comments

  1. OMG Meg...I just saw you on Holly's blog and I had to do a double take. I know that girl! So now I'm your latest blog stalker.

    Congrats on your half marathon...I just did my first half on Sunday too :)

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    1. Holy balls! I shall stalk you back. I had no idea you blogged! Congrats on your half too!

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  2. Congrats on your first half! (even if you did have to dodge 1000 walkers) I'm here from Holly's blog too and I have to say, I think you are hilarious! Oh, and I love your Harry Potter tattoo. I thought I was a fan, but you have me beat there.

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    1. Welcome! In case anyone doubts my nerdiness, I just show them my permanent HP ink and they back away slowly.

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  3. We must have been in the same slow ass corral! I wont too do this race again either.. New reader from Holly's blog.

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting and being awesome and doing the same race and also feeling the same way about the race as I did. Welcome to mah blog.

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  4. Hi! I'm so glad I have found your blog. You are one funny chick. Congratulations on your first half. I am envious of anyone who can run 13 miles without dying. I can make it through about 2. :)

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    1. It is my FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD when people tell me I'm funny. Seriously. Thank you :) I couldn't even run for one minute straight through when I started, and now I finished a half marathon. You can do it!

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  5. Another famous princess is Princess Ariel, who is defined by bright red hair, her beautiful voice, and oh yeah - by not being human. Many young girls see this movie and often wonder and dream about what it might be like to be a mermaid and live in a beautiful underwater world. princess carriage toddler bed

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