Why nobody knew I had 50 pounds to lose

...well some people knew. Those that saw me regularly. For the rest of you, I faked it. (that's what she said)

I totally forgot about this "don't judge me" onesie. Real men wear pink. And put on their mom's shoes. And make up. Whatever, don't judge me.

I didn't post fatty pictures to Facebook. If I did post pictures to fb, it was just my face, and I would try to get the best angle for minimal chins.

I have all of these awesome pictures with my rockstar baby and I don't even want to look at them. This picture isn't even that bad. Chinny chin chin aside.

I would take the same picture a hundred and twelve times to get the best jawline definition. Or the least amount of muffin top. Or the least fatty arm angle. I avoided mirrors.

In doing that, I tricked myself. I made myself believe that I was still skinny, even though I had to buy large shirts. "Yeah...Target must have changed how they do their sizing or something..."

Now, it's different. The past 3 pictures on my Instagram (@meghananaghan) are selfies. I still have 10 pounds to lose, and I'm not gonna forget that, but I feel so much more comfortable in my skin now. I even tried on my Wonder Woman bikini.

Before and After I got my roots did (by Holly). How many chins do I have now, huh?

So now you see the pictures I post and you think "wait, there used to be 50 lbs more of you?" YES. I just hid it. I was ashamed that I let it happen and I didn't know what to do about it. Now I just look the same to people that knew me back when I was skinnier. It's like I had this whole fat explosion (ska-dooooosh!) (That was my best explosion sound. You're welcome.) that no one knew about. 

I stopped eating shit (ehhh mostly). I got my body moving (half marathon Sunday y'alllllll). I got a divorce. (I kid, I kid. But seriously.)

Last week I volunteered to be the "model" in my photography class. That would have never happened just months ago. It was just to be a focal point for people trying to figure out their camera settings and lighting and shit. They didn't care about who the picture was of, just that a person was in the picture. Now I have the confidence to not give a shit about, or feel the need to approve of, every picture taken of me. It's a small thing, but it's still awesome. Also I volunteered because I don't have a DSLR camera*.

*Yes, I took a photography class without a camera. BITE ME, it's part of the graphic design program. And technically I'm skipping class tonight because I'm a goddamn rebel my instructor told me I could because I'm the only one in class without a camera.

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