The MILFest of Mondays

The cool kids invited me out on Saturday. Well, they invited everybody out and I went. That totally counts. These girls are all successful and popular bloggers who've lost a ton of weight, they're all hilarious, and they're all gorgeous. Thank goodness I joined Instagram. Bitches love Instagram. (@nerkymeg)


It was SkinnyMeg's birthday party at the Glass Cactus. It was so fancy that we had to be escorted to the section of the club where everyone was. Shout out to Mama Laughlin and Becka from Kiki La'Rue for the party and the booze, and to Holly for buying me a shot and a bitch-drink. (Cherry amaretto sour, in case you're nosy.) I know you were just trying to get me drunk to have your way with me. I'll not be foiled! Again. 

It would have been a lot more efficient to get one picture with all of us, huh?

For those of y'all that don't live in Dallas, The Glass Cactus is a super popular club for cougars to get drunk on wine spritzers and sing along with eighties cover bands. Mrowr. (Not these girls though, we were in a no-cougar zone.) It's the type of place with bathroom attendants and coat check. Classy, I say.

The Molly Ringwalds

Up to this point, the most "in" I've ever felt was when one of the popular girl in 6th grade invited me over to her house to hang out and do makeovers. This was when the movie "Clueless" was out, and I didn't realize at the time that she just wanted me to be the Ty to her Cher. A charity project, if you will. She put on sparkly eye shadow up to my eyebrows, braided my hair, her parents fed me and made me talk about my day at the dinner table, and I walked home. It was magical.

Mama Laughlin
I had a blogasm meeting her.

I'm long past the days where I try to fit in, but y'all, these girls were so nice and surprisingly normal. They are some sassy bishes online, but in person they're all nice and polite and shit. Like me. I like it.

Nailed it.

Mama Laughlin was obsessed with how good everyone smelled. SkinnyMeg was super excited and welcoming and friendly and I may have drunkenly agreed to do a half marathon with her in April. She was drunker though, so let's hope she doesn't remember. Holly is taller than I expected and SUPER nice. Like the kind of nice where I feel like an asshole when I cuss in front of her. (I didn't let it stop me, let's be serious.) I didn't get to talk to Becka from Kiki La'Rue much, but her tan and sassiness were awesome and pretty much everyone there was wearing something from her shop.

I had to drive home so I didn't drink for the last 2 hours because I am one responsible motherfucker. I danced a lot with a (possibly gay) ginger and we bonded over our mutual agreement to not judge people. (What's my deal with gingers lately? Dunno. I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes. YEAH I SAID IT. You know you were thinking it, unless you are a ginger, in which case you should answer the question please.) 

I'm the only one who stayed in my heels all night. They're not uncomfortable until you spend 5 hours shakin' dat ass. The quad workout from dancing for that long in 6 inch heels was totally worth it though. It's okay if I can't feel my toes, right?

Aw, shit. How long has that been there?

I'm just going to assume I'm best friends with these ladies now. It seems like the right thing to do.

I think technically we're both SkinnyMegs, amirite?

There can only be ONE NerkyMeg, though. I can out-knowledge ALL Y'ALL in Star Wars and/or Super Heroes and/or Harry Potter. (Is that something I should be proud of? DAMN RIGHT IT IS. I totally know shit about fictional characters. Totally.)

Y'all know I can't talk about all that indulgence and not get a good workout in on Sunday. I did a 6 mile run averaging 10:30/mile to run off all of the alcohol and bad decisions. It's weird how the day after drinking a lot I always have a really solid workout. Is there science to tell me why that happens? I love science.


  1. Girl, you are hilarious!
    SO great meeting you!! And you are TOTES our bff now! :)

  2. You are totally hilarious. I love your blog. It was nice to meet you on Saturday and ill go ahead and apologize for calling you Heidi. Hopefully it didn't make you hate me!

  3. You crack me up!! I seriously love reading about your adventures!

  4. Oh Hi. Youre KIND OF hilarious. And by kind of, I mean seriously.

    New follower!!!

  5. The party looks like it was so much fun! It almost seems like the 9 hour drive would have been worth it. Damn responsibilities.

    Totally agree about the workouts after drinking being better. I'm sure there is a scientific reason for that. Get Bill Nye on the phone.


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