Either I'm doing something right, or I'm doing something so, so wrong.

These are the keywords people have used to search for this blog within the past day or so. They're mostly normal, until they're not. It's allll fun and games until you get donkey punched.


Thanks, Internet.

Sorry you didn't get what you were looking for here. On a related note, it blows my mind that strangers read this blog on purpose. Sorry about the lack of donkeys. I'll work on that. (I just straight up lied to you, I have no plans to work on that.) The search term below it isn't awesome, either. And who the fuck is Becky?

So speaking of that, can we get real about protein bars for a second? (My train of thought was donkey>ass>my ass>is smaller and toned>because I workout>and built muscle>protein builds muscle>sometimes I eat protein bars when I don't get enough from real food. See? It wasn't a complete jump. GEEZ.) 

Protein bars taste like feet. They start off okay, even kind of good, then as you get closer to finishing you have to choke it down. (Sound familiar, ladies? And gay guys? And straight guys who get a little gay when you're drunk?) It's hard to find a good one with a reasonable amount of sugar and protein. If I wanted to eat 20-something grams of sugar, I'd have a damn Snickers.

I really only eat them on days when I work out hard and don't get enough protein from real food. In a perfect world, I'd prefer to not eat them at all and just have someone cook for me. Shirtless. With muscles. And an accent. But I'm not picky.

Comments

  1. Ass touch it if you can 2013.. who searches for these things lol
    Have you tried thinkthin bars? They don't taste like feet... well not that I know of.

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  2. protein shake? one almost tried to kill me one time, but I bet you'll be fine. maybe they have a soy one?

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  3. Special K makes a good one, but bars are definitely always going to be worse for you with less protein than shakes. You can get some killer shakes, mine has like 1g of fat and 24g of protein. You can't beat that ratio with a stick. Definitely only supplement protein on workout days though, otherwise you're just adding calories. I mean I supplement a little on off days, but I'm super jacked. #armmuscles

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  4. http://www.walmart.com/ip/20470594?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=22222222227000000000&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=21486607510&wl4=&wl5=pla&veh=sem

    ^Those are delicious and my favorite. You won't have to choke those down... you'll be begging for more. (twhs)

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  5. IM sure everyone is going to tell you this, but ThinkThin bars have 20g of protein and 0g of sugar. I don't eat them, but my hubby's fav is the crunchy peanut butter or some shit.

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  6. Damn, sorry, I'm sorry about the search. I'll try to keep my search for women fuck by donkeys to a minimum. How embarrassing.

    I have no clue on the amount of protein but my fave snack/healthy/paleo bar is the Kind bars. Dark chocolate peanut butter to be exact. I'd rather have that than a snicker bar any day. that's saying a lot from someone who used to sneak food as a kid. bitches don't be touching my snickers bars.

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  7. That was fucking hilarious! My kid asked me what I was laughing at and I said, 'an email' ... he said, 'from your boss?' So I said, 'yeah!'. hahahahahaha! I don't eat protein bars. They taste like shit, but I wouldn't know what shit taste like.

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  8. OMG - that is hilarious. I'll have to find that on my page, now I'm curious!

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  9. That has to be one of the best search terms ever. You should be so honored.

    Think Thin bars are my favorite protein bar, but they are kind of hard to find and when you do, they are usually expensive. I also get the Pure Protein bars from Costco which only have 3g of sugar. They aren't too bad, but very thick and hearty (if that makes sense in terms of describing a protein bar).

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  10. Don't worry about search terms. One of the more frequent search terms for my hockey site is "(insert player name) girlfriend"....

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  11. think thin bars are the best protein bars ever. they're not cheap, but kroger has them on sale once every month or two or you can get them online cheap just about any time. i have one... just about every day! haha

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