Frisky Friday: Success Kid
Dating and going out in general is so different as a mom than it used to be. Are my mom jeans turning you on? Want to take a ride in my minivan? I make really good peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, if you know what I mean.
Three steps for a solid date experience from one single mom to you:
Step one: Schedule your date either over a week in advance, or in less than an hour because your babysitter let you know he/she happens to be available that very same night. Note: If you schedule in advance, you're going to to have to reschedule it at least once.
Step two: Make sure you leave yourself plenty of time to get ready. As in, spare at least 3 minutes between diaper changes and bath time, because that's clearly all you do as a mom now.
Step three: Just go ahead and take your kid with you. Guys really love jumping in feet first to being a father figure, know what I mean? That's really what all single moms are looking for - a new dad for their kid.
Definitely don't act like a normal girl, you'll just embarrass yourself. You're a MOTHER now, you can't have fun like "regular" people anymore. You should just go ahead and make that man a sandwich, woman. Know your role.
Whoadang, did I just make it through an entire post without any shits or fucks?