Nailed it.

Oh snap, so all I have to do is pour my heart out on the internet and I get a job offer? And a contract on a new place to live that's 10 minutes from this new job? And I lost 2 pounds? What do I have to do on the internet to make a million dollars? (Awww yeahhhh I'll be the Precious to your Scroto Baggins. Holla fo' a dollaaa!) (Not really. Ew.)

I suppose it's always darkest before the dawn. AND IT'S DAWN, MOTHERFUCKERS.



I had exactly 3 interviews from the HUNDREDS (okay, more like dozens) of applications I've submitted. Did you know that every time you apply for a job online, you upload your resume, and then you have to fill in a resume form with your resume contents? Howsabout no. Howsabout one or the other. Howsabout you stop wasting my time and just look at the resume I uploaded.

And who has two thumbs and is a cover letter writing machine?

This girl. I was going to take a picture, but it's hard to get both of your thumbs in a selfie. Here's Jim Halpert instead - he's nicer to look at anyway, depending on what you're into.


In my first interview I was awkward and weird and sweaty and I told them Google was my favorite website. This was for a web design company...so there's that. I got in based on my cover letter, in which I said I'm "freaking friendly" and I "pretty much always smell good" (both verifiable facts) because it's true and I don't care who knows it I saw that they had said those things on their website. Reconnaissance ftw. (Every time I say "reconnaissance", I feel like I'm James Bond. It's daily. I say it daily.)


My second interview was with a guy who ran his own property management business. He told me I was hired when I said I knew how to use Adobe, and then later I realized that he meant Adobe Acrobat. His office was filthy, he asked me if I was married in the interview, and then went in for a hug when I held out my hand for a handshake at the end. A real missed opportunity, that one was. Maybe it's the sexual harassment settlement that's the real missed opportunity.


For this last interview, they needed someone who could start today. It so happens that I could make that happen. He called me yesterday at 2pm, scheduled the interview for 5pm, and hired me at 6pm. I'm pretty sure it was a right-place-right-time situation that worked out in my favor. I hope all of the other resumes in the stack have as good of friends as I do that keep their spirits up during their job search. (Yeah, I'm talking to YOU. Thank you.)

With any luck I'll close on my very own place at the end of the month, move in, and start out fresh in May. Like a boss.


can't wait until I have the freedom to walk around naked in my own home again. It's a luxury you don't really notice until you're stripped of it. (Eh? Eh? PUN!)

And as usual, if you want some muhfuckin' motivation to get your body moving, email me at meg(at)nerkyblog(dot)com. I have 4-5 miles to tackle and some shredding to do tonight. It's also ThirstyThursday and the first day of my new job, so I do believe some drinks are in order. Beer me!

Comments

  1. Congrats on all the life changes! That is so awesome! Hope your first day rocks!

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  2. Congrats on the new job and soon to be house!! Things are looking up! Enjoy those drinks tonight:)

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  3. Just found your blog from Holly ... You are hilarious =) Congrats on the job!

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  4. Congrats on the job and house!

    I am a new follower. I think from either Kimmmyyy's or Holly's page.

    Either way, I think you are great!

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  5. yay! Congrats on the jobby job! So happy for you!!!!

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  6. Woo hoo!! Good luck on your first day! You're gonna kill it!

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  7. Ahhh I am so proud of you!!!!!!!! Great job mama, congrats!!!

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  8. That last picture is awesome!! Congrats on your job! and house! and loss! Go Meg!

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  9. "you walk around naked in your apartment?" "yeah, why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?!" -phoebe...you pretty much are phoebe

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  10. YAY!!!! I am so glad you found a job. Maybe this was ALL meant to be!!

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  11. CONGRATS!!! I saw on instagram that you were going to one, it must have been that awesome outfit... along with your great attitude!

    Hope today goes well for you! :)

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  12. Congrats!!!!! So happy for you :)

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  13. You get it done girl! That is a whole pile of awesome news! Congrats!

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  14. I'm still puzzled as to why you didn't go after that second job. ;) Seriously, congratulations to you! Go get your drink on, you have earned it!

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  15. Woot Woot - holla! Congrats! Maybe some of your good fortune will rub off on the rest of us!

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  16. Damn, that is a GREAT week! I already knew about the job, but way to go on the new place, and losing 2 pounds!

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  17. I am laughing out loud at your blog (and almost woke the baby!). Love love your writing style. Thanks for making me smile. Congrats on the new job!

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  18. You are so funny and adorable, so you can say I'm a little happy that I've found your blog! Congratulations on the new news!!

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  19. I am a brand new reader & I am SO happy that you got a job & a place to live & you lost 2lbs..YES!!!! HELL YES the universe gave you something back!!! My heart was aching for you in your other post about how much you were burdened by these things & I'm SOOO happy for you!!!

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