Sometimes shit's stupid

When life gives you lemons, find the person whose life gave them vodka.

Everybody has days, weeks, months when their life isn't awesome. For me, that time is now. Writing this blog and getting comments and "likes" and feedback is literally the highlight of every day for me, so thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm always the person that finds the silver lining and is "glass half full", but even I have days when I'm all "wtf, universe? Why you gotta do me like that?"

Getting divorced is hard. That's not to say I'm not "over" my ex, I just mean that it's a difficult life transition. When's the last time you packed up your car full of yours and your son's clothes and moved out of your house just like that? And in with your parents, no less. As an adult. With a kid. That makes me feel like a failure.

Then I found out that I'm getting "let go" from my job - a job I don't even like. I find it unfair that my job is quitting me before I have the opportunity to quit it. I find it frustrating that I can't find a new job for the life of me, even though I have a degree and I'm a "fast learner" and "proficient at MS Office" all those other buzz words. That also makes me feel like a failure.


My marriage not working, although I'm really only half to blame, makes me feel like a failure with regard to my son, too. Every time he clings to his dad because he doesn't want to leave with me, my heart breaks a little. It's the same way for his dad, I'm sure, when Mylo clings to me and doesn't want to go with him. Splitting time with him is hard. I don't want to share him. At the same time, it can also be a blessing. I'm not sure if you've ever had a toddler, but they can be absolute terrorists sometimes. There is good and bad with everything, I suppose. We also have a unique, and probably easier, custody arrangement than most because we get along so well as friends as opposed to spouses. Mylo splits his time half and half between our houses and it's working well that way so far. Neither of us is the "disciplinarian" or "fun" parent because we both have to be both.

My friends are amazeballs and always lift my spirits when I feel particularly burdened and/or stressed by my life, as friends do. Last night I went out with one of my oldest friends (We've known each other since 6th grade. That's a lot of awkward phases to stick with someone through.) because he was having a shit day, too. We drank beer (Shiner blonde for me, in case you're nosy) and made each other laugh and stayed up late on a school night talking about the vastness of the universe and how our problems and lives are so minute on the grand scale of things.

His facking awesome shirt may have sparked our universe conversation.

We were trading shitty stories over dinner and at one point he threw his hand up and said, "Well, sometimes shit's stupid" and we laughed so hard at how simple, yet apt, that statement was. Sometimes shit is stupid. You just deal with it and move forward. 

"Maybe you don't like your job
Maybe you didn't get enough sleep
Well, nobody likes their job
Nobody got enough sleep
Maybe you just had the worst day of your life
But, you know, there's no escape
There's no excuse
So just suck up and be nice"
- "Pixie" by Ani Difranco

I'm thankful for all the good in my life - a healthy, happy toddler, a roof over my head, car to drive, good awesome friends and family, etc. I'm just so ready to move forward instead of being stuck in this limbo. I'm very close to having my own place to live. I'm hopefully close to my next career adventure. I'm ready for this chapter to finally be closed and a new chapter opened.

Comments

  1. I have been officially blog stalking you, but I knew I needed to leave a comment when you quoted Ms. DiFranco. Her and her words have gotten me out a-many a funk. I admire what you are doing for yourself and your son. Life is hard, and shitty things happen. Keep your chin up!!

    -Stacy "wish I was cool enough to Blog"

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  2. Coming from someone who has been there and done that, shit does happen and I completely understand when you say sometimes having your kid go with the other parent is a blessing. Single parenting is NOT easy. Chin up girl and trade in those lemons for vodka! :)

    - Lydia "I'm not cool enough to blog either"

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  3. I seriously love you, Megan. This just pulled on my black heart strings. I have never went through what you are going through, but life can be shitty. Just remember that this too shall pass. And keep your head up, buttercup.

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  4. Some days are hard. So are some weeks or months. It'll get better. It always does. And the better days are even better thanks to going through the hard. This too shall pass.

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  5. I just found you through Hubby Jack and I love what I've read so far. I'm also a single [hot] mom. I don't split time with my ex but I know what you mean about having break. Mine are only for a couple days at a time and shit is hard. Dating is hard. Being a hot single mom is hard. Bring your lemons hooker because I've got vodka.

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  6. That shit is hard. I can't imagine going through those things. Seriously, they aren't in my realm right now. But I do know about life really effing you over. It's doing that to me in entirely different ways lately.

    If Texas and CO were closer, I would totally buy you a beer. And I would remember what kind, because I'm a creepy blog stalker like that.

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  7. I can only imagine girl. You are one STRONG woman for having to go through all that and Mylo will only see that strength in you as a positive.
    My sister went through something similar and I distinctly remember her feeling the exact same way.
    And you're so right, it's just a phase. The next one will be better.
    Hang in there doll.
    And I'll see your ass on Sunday. :)

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  8. Divorce sucks. Plain and simple. Especially when you throw kids in the mix. It helps so much when you get along with your ex, but that doesn't mean that everything is going to be peaches and roses. For me, I always tend to get down when I am missing my girls. Their dad has custody and lives an hour away. Not too far relatively speaking, but I can't just pop on over for a goodnight kiss and hug on a school night.

    It sounds like you have some amazing friends to help you through and I am hoping that you can find a new job soon! Hopefully, it will even be something you love. I'm sending out all the new job vibes that I can!

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  9. I can't imagine divorce. But I can tell you I've been through some pretty shitty shit, recently too. And I thought it was only getting worse, I thought it would NEVER pass, but it did. And I realized that there is always someone or something that will make things seem just a little better. I realized that as bad as it was, there may have been another person going through something worse. We are never dealt anything we can't handle ;) Remember that. Hang in there and let's shreddddddd!

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