Fatty say whaaaaaat

Have you ever wanted to eat so badly that you nom while you're running? Yeah, me too.

Friday night I went out to a trendy store opening party in the trendy part of Dallas with my trendy cousin. We drank and got judged by gay men and whistled at by straight men and inadvertently tried out for the nerdiest reality show ev. Something about a Quest? I dunno, we might make it on the show just based on the fact that we're female.

Either she drinks really slow or I was a fish in a past life.

And then I'm supposed to be up at 7am Saturday for a 5k? Well, shit. I got a text at 6:30 saying that my friends were too tired and were gonna bail on it. Do you know how hard it is to pull yourself out of bed, hungover, with the intention of running 3 miles when your friends have given up on it? Let me tell you, it's hard. (twss) 

But I did it, because I didn't want to let y'all down. (d'awwww) I put on my most appropriate shirt for a run where you eat the whole time, and I was out the door by 7:30 for the first annual Fatty Run Tasty Run 5k.

Confession: I don't really like running with people, so I was totally cool with doing this shit by myself. When I run with people I can't relax and get into the flow, so then I just hate every second of it. 

First stop: La Madeleine.

I have no idea what that pastry was, but it was good.

There were 5 stops and I ran the whole time, only briefly stopping to pick up the food and take a quick picture.

Stop two: Genghis Grill.

Some kind of chicken/veggie/rice concoction. 
I wish I would have grabbed two.

I wish I could convey the heavenly smells for you. Someone should invent that.

Stop three: Raising Cane's.

Here's the deal, RC. If you're gonna advertise that you're gonna be giving out free food somewhere, it damn well better be chicken fingers and not fuckin' lemonade.

No picture for you.

Stop four: Tiff's Treats.

Chocolate chip, please.

Fact: I sweat wayyy more when I'm hungover.

Other fact: It's really hard to chew a cookie and breathe while you're running.

Stop five: On the Border.

The most filling stop with a pretty good sized brisket burrito and a sopapilla.

Once I got into my second mile, my body kicked into autopilot and it wasn't awful. My stomach didn't even hurt after. In fact, my hangover was gone and I felt awesome. I think I figured out the answer: if you do a run where you have to eat the whole time, show up a little hungover.

Likewise, if you're hungover, run 3 miles while eating.

You're welcome.


  1. Awesome. Jealous. Want this run to be in my state! :)

  2. I think you might be my new hero. I could NOT run hungover. just thinking about it makes me curl up into a ball. CONGRATS!

  3. That is an awesome run idea. Almost as good as the Beer Run.

  4. Awesome job, lady!! No way I could do that run. I'd be puking the whole way! Just thinking about food while running makes my stomach turn. A local Krispy Kreme does a 2 mile charity run every year. You have to run 1 mile to Krispy Kreme, eat a dozen donuts, and run a mile back. ACK!!

  5. omg i want to do a 5k like that. that's amazing!

  6. Your "insert nom toxins" photo totally cracked me up! But my stomach would cramp so hard if I ate while running... Would be like a thousand drunken leprechauns stabbing me on the inside!

  7. To the stop that only served lemonade, LAME! Otherwise, it sounds like a really fun race and a great way to kick a hangover in the balls.

  8. Dude, it sounds like the perfect combination for curing a hangover. And love your shirt!


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