Frisky Friday: Drunk Dialing

Drunk texting is more like it. Who calls people anymore? I don't want to talk to you. Unless you're driving, in which case don't text and drive. Shit's dangerous.

You've either been on the giving or receiving end of this at some point (twss). It starts out with good intentions. You're out with friends, maybe you have a beer or a glass of wine. Maybe you're drinking at home, who am I to judge.

It's all good, everybody likes to unwind a little. Maybe you've been talking to someone new or you're not quite over your ex. You start to think about them a little more as your inhibitions fade away. (I, for one, have never had sex with someone after they became my ex. What's the point? Move on to greener pastures, you're no longer required to ess that d. Or ell that p, depending on what you're into.)

As you lose track of the number of drinks you've had, it starts to seem like you should text them. I mean, they're probably wondering why you haven't already, right? It would be rude to make them worry. Plus, they obviously want to have sex with you. At 2:30am. On a Thursday. Sloppily. And possibly get thrown up on.

Rules of drunk booty texts:

1 - Don't.


Come on, man. If you want to "bang", man up and hit on me while you're sober. Nobody wants to have sex with a drunk guy. Go home and masturbate like an adult.



    shut da loser dowwwwwn!


  2. Hahaha, your closing statement was gold.

  3. I love how you corrected the grammar in the ecard. And I agree with Robert, that was a fantastic closing statement. You win.

  4. Haha! Love it! The grand finale there at the end ROCKS! lol


  5. hahahaha this is awesome. and so true.


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