Frisky Friday: Friends with Benefits

I don't think online dating is for me. I keep getting creepy-ass messages, and that's when I remember to log in. Answer 200 personality questions? Ain't nobody got time fo' dat. I'd much rather hang out with my awesome friends than meet new people anyway.


PROBLEM IS, I don't always want to have sex by myself. (Sometimes I do. At the very least it's more efficient.) This is where a 'friends with benefits' and/or fuck buddy relationship would come in handy, just, ya know, not with a married guy.

And before you think I'm a sluttastic skankatron, I'm not. My "number" is still in the single digits and consists of exactly zero one night stands. No herpes, no weird freaky shit, just a little fun, k? So stop judging.

The solution is clear for us single-and-not-all-that-interested-in-mingling folks - until life hands you your next plus one, you need someone for stress relief, amirite?

How to go about arranging this sort of relationship is a slippery slope, but it generally it works out best if you kind of already know the person.  Fuck yeah, sex with friends! The people that made all of the "with friends" games should totally make a casual sex app and name it that. I'll just wait for my check in the mail. 

The pros of a fuck buddy:
- You get to have sex with another person.
- You don't have to pretend to give a shit about their issues.

The cons of a fuck buddy:
- Someone generally either loses interest or wants more-than-fuck-buddy status after a while. 
- You can't really take them anywhere.

Girls, if you like a guy and he just wants to be fuck buddies, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak if you go down that path. Guys, if you like a girl and she just wants to be fuck buddies, you'll probably have an excellent time. Enjoy yourselves. 

PSA: Wrap that shit up! You don't want an unplanned bun in the oven and you definitely don't want that with someone you're just sexin'. Also, STDs are pretty intense and you don't want to take a chance with any of that noise. No glove, no love.

I hope you make lots of sexy time with old and new fuck buddies this weekend. May the force be with you. 


  1. Hahaha this is a good one. Fris-KAY indeed. I love that meme: "off is the general direction in which i wish you would fuck" hahaha superb.

  2. My initial reaction was exactly, "OMG what a slutastic skankatron," but then I was reminded how much you win at memes and/or gifs and then I was totally OK with it.

    "Moments I wish my parents didn't read your blog...." for 800, Alex.

  3. If only everyone could have a "Friend with Benefits" like JT.....:)

  4. I'm not even sure I want to have sex with this [imaginary] FWB. I'd be down with sticking to my B.O.B. for the sex as long as I had an actual man to make out with. B.O.B doesn't kiss, play with your boobies (can't believe I'm typing all this shit out) or any of those other magical things. Hahaha!

    I had a FWB but ended it for various reasons.

    Oh, and I agree about the online dating. I am *so* over it.

  5. Been there, done the FWB thing. It's cool. Makes life substantially easier. Good luck finding one good guy out there. Really, that's all you need. Just one.


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