No soy perfecto

Yesterday I got arrested by the grammar police. Y'all crazies know I know the proper use of your and you're, or else I would have been burned at the stake forev ago. I got straight A's in English and Spanish, muthafuckaaaaas.



I write a lot and revise and go back and edit and think about it and change it and add things at the last minute, all in less than an hour per day. Sometimes shit gets overlooked. It's whatev. I used to notice and cringe a little when I found a typo in the blogs I read. Now I don't give a shit because I know these people blog because they love it - not because they get paid in gold and virgins. (If you get paid in gold and virgins, your grammar better be correct or I'm gonna be pissed.)

I am the worst about typos. I fat-finger it constantly when I text. It's 50% autocorrect and 50% me fucking it up, 100% of the time.



My friends call me out on that kind of shit because that's the kind of relationship we have. We make fun of and laugh at with each other. It's the tits, you should get friends like mine. BUT, some people forreal turn up their nose at a grammar mistake. Fuck that, judgy mcjudgersons.

No me juzgues.

When I moved, I didn't box up all of my shoes because they're already in boxes. Redundancy is redundant. The movers saw them stacked up and said, "hay muchos zapatos." 

Hablo espaƱol, motherfucker. No me juzgues.

Last night I got fast food for the first time in months - a #4 with unsweet tea from Chikfila. This was after I ran 3 miles, lest you think I totally bailed on my workout.

It. Was. Delicious.

Sometimes I just want a muhfuckin' chicken sandwich and waffle fries. No me juzgues.

Big fat thanks to my real-life friends and new blogland friends that read my shit daily. Any topic requests for Frisky Friday tomorrow? You can email me at meg(at)nerkyblog(dot)com if you don't want to suggest your topic or ask a question in front of the whole class. What I lack in editing capabilities, I make up for in being nice and shit.

Comments

  1. My name is Candis. Autocorrect always wants to "correct" it to Candid. So, half the the time I look like I can't even spell my own name!

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  2. I could have written this myself! Especially the 'No hablo Espanol, motherfuckers' part! Haha! (I said that once in a bar to someone hitting on me. My girls laughed for twenty minutes! )
    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

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  3. I love that I can always count on your posts to give me a giggle for the day! :-)

    Amy @ getzgirlonfire

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  4. But seriously where have you been all my life? So glad I found your blog.

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  5. typos give a blog some character, right?!?!? LOL Aint no body got time to check every little word or to make sure every sentence makes sense. Oh crap some people do. Well, if you read my blog the grammar police are going to shit their pants because there are a lot of in-corrections. Sorry, it is my blog suckas.

    Jessica @ Akansasgirlwithagoal

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  6. Chick fil a is the best!!!! Yummy!!!

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  7. I had to turn off autocorrect because it would invariably change what I was typing to some random word I've never even heard of. Autocorrect does not like the word "have". I got "Havre" Every. Damn. Time.

    Oh, and I love me some waffle fries from Chik-fil-A. Delicious!

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  8. No me juzgues. You crack my shit up!!!

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  9. :) I loooove your shoes in boxes...I will have to seriously considering doing that!

    No me juzgues...me no judgie on grammar...unless one claims to be a grammarian and screws up repeatedly AND judges..then I judge the/him/her/it.

    I wonder if grammarian is a word? Off to find out.

    -dot

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  10. "Judgy McJudgersons" should be capitalized, as it is a proper noun.

    Me no speako el espanola.

    Pizza monday?

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  11. Now I want chick-fil-a. Dammit. Thankfully, it's not Sunday because typically, I crave it on Sundays and well, they're all closed in shit to honor God. Dammit, what about honoring ME with some chick-fil-a on Sundays.

    Oh, Frisky Friday. Hmmm, well, I have a coffee date at lunch tomorrow. First date advice or did you already do that?

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  12. I call my friend Tiffy and autocorrect calls her Titty. Also my use of the word "got" gets changed to "git." Living in Tennessee I feel like a hillbilly when it does this.. ALMOST EVERY TIME and I don't know noticed until after it is sent. Aye.

    Hi!!! I'm Maggie. I'm kinda new to blogging. I've found some amazing reads full of inspiration, and let me say lurking around your blog, it's possibly my favorite read. Thanks for blogging. Just wanted to say hello :)

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  13. All I have to do is see a Chik-fil-a bag and I'm craving their diet lemondade, a regular sandwich and a waffle fry... the exact order that got me addicted to them when I was a fat sorority girl.

    I have a knockoff chicken strips recipe that is the tits. Really, it is.

    My text messages, and any message sent from my phone are all hot messes. My phone has swype, and it never works EVER. And because honey badger don't have time to fix that shit, my friends get to play "decode Kristen's messages". Decoding texts should be a segment on game shows.

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  14. OH MAN do i miss chickfila. well. i miss whataburger. McDonnalds just don't cut it and that's all they have in new zealand. Also, who wants to be paid in virgins? /virgins?/

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  15. Soooooo general request on a blog post? Crash course womens through Star Trek? I never knew anything about da Trek until JJ Abrams and loved it. But I feel like i miss a lot of stuff. I was too busy loving star wars. So a guide or watch these shows/movies to educate ones self? too nerdy? trying to hard to be nerdy? I am a movie buff, and these have been sooooo well done in the last few years. :)

    ReplyDelete

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