Frisky Friday: Manly Men

I love men. I'm talking manly men. The kind of guy with man stank. He also cleans up nice, but I prefer him shirtless.


He's good with his hands (YEAH he is) and can fix anything from my car to my computer. Oops, my car is broken. I need you to come fix it and take off your shirt, please. It's required for you to fix it properly. 


He has manly hobbies like telling me I'm pretty and building things, or pretty much anything outdoorsy.


He probably has a beard too, because that's what separates real men from women and children. None of that douchey facial hair business. Soul patches are not okay, ever.


He's strong and can lift me up. (Against the wall. If you know what I mean.) He's so muscular because he takes his duty to defend my honor seriously.


He's also sweet and gentle. And nice to his mom. When I'm stoked about getting tickets for Wicked, my ideal manly man would pray to Stormtrooper Jesus that I don't drag him along with me, but he would go if my friends were busy. What a nice guy.


But how do I meet these men? I'm a hipster douchebag artist and I tend to attract other hipster douchebags artists/musicians/etc. Birds of a feather flock together. (Do hipsters flock? I'm pretty sure that by the very definition of "hipster", flocking is too mainstream.) 


Maybe I need to hang out at Home Depot more. Or learn how to hunt and fish.


Oh, that's right. I have a kickass personality boobs. The manly men will find me, it's in their DNA. Boobdar - like gaydar only the exact opposite.

Comments

  1. My boobs aren't helping me find the manly men, dammit!

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  2. I feel like this whole post is basically a description of me. That photo of the dude fishing might as well be me. I did a double take.

    I changed a tire for a young lady on Sunday. First try. Man card renewed.

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  3. You forgot to add that your manly man would tell ALL of his buds that his hot chick is also super cool and hysterically funny...Robert Field, take note.

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  4. You sound like you've had a male suitor at one point that failed to do so?

    Duly noted!


    Fun Friday Fact: It's not "dually noted" like everybody thinks. You aren't noting it twice. Duly, as in the adverb form of "due", in the sense of "appropriate, deserved, justified".

    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true unless you just paid off a large farm truck with six wheels. Then it is dually noted.

      And I feel like at least 10% of your man cred goes to me. At least bequeath it. Kayaking, fishing, videos, yep, shake and bake and I helped.

      My advice to you Bobby, if you are not married and around pretty girls, tell them they are pretty. If you are married (which I know you're not), keep your mouth shut unless talking to your wife or daughter. And don't move your head when you survey the populous.

      Delete
  5. You gotta be careful with boobs, though because they will also draw in douchebags like you wouldn't believe. Use them wisely, my friend.

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  6. Men like this are few and far between. I know because I aspire to be one!

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  7. I married to a fishing, hunting, golfing, baseball hunting, great with kids, loves his momma and works his ass off...he doesn't look like any of these pics (damn the luck), would rather shoot HIMSELF than go to Wicked and would never get a Star Wars reference so I do believe you are going to have a hard time finding this man...but best of luck! Mine is great 90% of the time! lol

    BTW please place a WARNING in the title next time you are going to post Willy Wonka..freaks me the fuck out everytime I see him...creeper!!!!

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  8. I love that you list a preferred hobby as "telling me I'm pretty". Damn straight.

    I found Ammon at work, and he is pretty much exactly what you described. They are out there, those perfect manly men. Just beware, that building shit hobby is damn expensive.

    Also, if you buy them a table saw, they WILL marry you. It's a proven fact.

    ReplyDelete

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