He's off the market

I wasn't going to post today because I'm a busy motherfucker, but something has come up that needs to be addressed.

In a shocking turn of events, Adam Levine is engaged. And that's fine? Neat? Acceptable? Who gives a shit? I hope his marriage lasts longer than mine did. (Heyo! I got divorce jokes!) Does that mean we have to stop looking at him? Nope. Probably just gonna go ahead and continue to do that.


I mean, seriously. We look at plenty of married celebrities. Like David Beckham.


I have a type.

I don't want to marry them, I just like to look. I want to marry someone who makes me laugh my ass off and knows words like "entropy" and "fiduciary". Smart, funny guys are the real heroes. So, good for Adam. Good for David. Good for everybody! 

Happy Hump Day! I hope yours is wonderful. And humpy. And full of tall, skinny white guys with lots of tattoos and full heads of brown hair, if that's what you're into. (Because it's clearly what I'm into.)

Comments

  1. Well now my day is crap but thanks for the eye candy.

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  2. I don't think you EVER need to stop looking. I found out that Matt Bomber was gay and I had to scratch him off my crush list for about a day (I mean 'cause I can only crush on "obtainable" celebs right?). Then I saw a picture of him shirtless and my non-gay criteria went out the window and drool hit the keyboard. Happy Wednesday!

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  3. Thanks to you & your fruit tart how-to I discovered Robin Thicke (cuz I don't usually listen to his kind o music)anyways, I could look at him everyday for the rest of my life! Mmmm mmmm mmmm delicious!!

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  4. It's totally okay for us to look after he's married. I could give a rats ass if Channing Tatum is married...I'm gonna look....fo' evah!!

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  5. Smart funny guys ARE the true heroes:) We will never stop looking, Adam!

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  6. but if a guy looks at a woman, he's a sexist, right?

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    Replies
    1. Whoa. Way to ruin the mood there.

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    2. Just like if people think a girl sleeps with a ton of people she is a wh*** and a guy, well he is the shit, right? Tons of stereotypes out there.

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  7. Hahahaha, I love all of the different things you are looking for in a man, including his vocabulary choices. We seriously will be real life friends, I am sure of it, because even if we don't have a celebrity crush type in common, we absolutely look for the same things in our real life men.

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  8. Well don't that completely ruin your day! ... Oh wait. You're right. I'm NOT going to look away anyway. ;)

    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

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  9. Mine is tall and white and full of tattoos, but he ain't skinny and doesn't have a full head of hair. HA!

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  10. Hi I'm a gay guy and I have been getting boners for skinny white boys with lots of tats and a full head of brown hair for a long time. Add to that a huge cock and a beard and I'll say I DO or whatever the hell he wants me to say!! In fact I stumbled across your blog because I googled "skinny white boys with lots of tatoos" and voila!
    Anyway I agree, adam and David are fucking hot and good on the fabulous bitchezz that landed them!

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