Why I kept my last name

I stole my last name from my ex-husband. It doesn't mean I'm any less divorced (I'm full-on, 100%, totally and completely divorced, y'all. Pinky swear.) or not "over" my ex (We are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.). It means I'm a grown-ass woman who can make my own damn decisions. 
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." 
 - Shakespeare
It's an especially awkward topic in dating. Whatever, chumps. My life, my choice.

The real reason I kept my ex's last name after the split is because I might as well have the same last name as my kid, right? Also, I'm not sure if you've ever had the pleasure of changing your name, but it's a big ol' pain right smack in the ass.

Along the same lines, let me speak on behalf of all divorced people and say, please stop asking us, "Do you think you'll ever get married again?" Fuck if I know. Let me look into my future with my crystal ball.

Ohhh, do you mean, "Do you think all marriages are doomed to fail now that yours crashed and burned?" Yes. Yes I do. In the same way I believe that "all women are bad drivers" and "all Asians are good at math". Meaning, no. Of course I don't think that. Ass.

I'm never going to tell someone not to get married. Mine didn't work out, but that doesn't mean marriage is impossible. We all learn from our experiences, right? By the same token, I don't have a "future wedding" board on Pinterest, either. Let's just pipe the fuck down with all that noise, ladies. If you're not engaged, a wedding board is unacceptable. At least make that shit private so no one can see it judge you.

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  1. bhahahahahaha, I friggin love you. "Meaning, no. Of course I don't think that. Ass."<-favorite.
    And then the whole paragraph after that. And basically everything before it, too. Ok, the whole thing. Hilarious.
    I like seeing how many different ways you can use the, "one does not simply..." picture, keep it up.

  2. It is such a PITA having a different last name than your kid. I am constantly amazed by how confused, especially doctor offices, seem to be over it. "But, your last name is Hultgren?" "He has a different last name than you?" "We don't have a Wyatt Hultgren in the computer." No shit. Yes, thank you for enlightening me with that bit of information. I didn't realize.

    Ugh! One of my biggest pet peeves!

  3. I totally agree with a lot of this, especially only having a "wedding" board if you are actively going through the process of getting married. Also, why do people ask so many personal questions about the choices you make? They're your damn choices, and you can do what you want. My MIL has been married 4 times, and whenever she get divorced, she changes her name back to her first married name, so that she is the same as her kids. It's a little strange, yes, but it's her own choice.

    Also, hello pain in the ass name change. Just starting that process, and it makes me want to die.

  4. My favorite part of this whole post is the part about judging people for having a future wedding board when they aren't even engaged. I mean, seriously, people, save it for the actual planning stage.

  5. I totally get having the same last name as your child. And yeah what a PAIN to change it back!

    I have to admit, I totally judge non-engaged girls with wedding boards out for all to see. It's like publicly announcing "I wish he would put a ring on it already!!" Yeah, I stalked wedding ideas before being engaged.....privately, via google, at midnight, in my closet.....I was not about to put that pathetic phase of my life on blast!! HAHA

    First world problems.

  6. My mom never changed hers when she got divorced....probably because it is such a pain in the ass.

  7. My mom just used whatever name she wanted - if it was in regards to me or my brother Stephen, she'd use our last name, and if it was in regards to my brother Sean, she'd use his last name. And if it was in regards to all three of us she'd hyphenate her two last names.

    Not to mention the suck factor of changing your name. I didn't do it for over a year after I got married, and even now not everything is in my married name.

  8. My mom did the same thing and I never thought a thing about it! She wanted to keep the name her kids had, even if she wasn't married to our dad anymore!


  9. If you want to keep his name, you do the damn thang! Glad ya stuck to your guns.

    PS-- I nominated you for Liebster Award :) http://fitnastyforlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/leibster-award.html

  10. Soul sista I didn't change my name for the exact same reasons. That shit is a lot of work and I'm way too lazy too stand in line at the social security office.

  11. I totally agree about the wedding board! haha! Don't tell anyone, but I still have mine....almost a year later!! Sshhh!! And Why not keep his last name! I wanted to get married so badly when we had Nathan because we didn't have the same last name. It just makes things so much easier!!

  12. I can always count on you to make me laugh!! BTDubs, I'm here to reinforce that those stereotypes are completely false: I'm Asian and horrible at Math :) But the Hubs might tell you that I'm not that great of a driver, sooo that makes me an Asian woman driver...;) Oh, and good for you for keeping the name you want, personally, I'd high-five you if you decided you wanted your name to be Rainbow Brite.

  13. hahaha i totally agree with that wedding board on pinterest thing!!

  14. I don't know how I missed this post before, but A-freaking-men. I also kept my last name because it was my kids' name and it was just easier. And who cares if I get married again. I'm happy so back the fuck off. Do what makes you feel good and don't worry about anyone else.


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