Kansas City Shuffle

I have a new workout buddy. Just in time to mix shit up, my workouts were getting stale.

Y'all, he had me do 45 burpees yesterday. Not just regular burpees. Weighted muthafuckin' burpees. With 20lb weights. In. Each. Hand.

I wanted to die.

And I'm pretty sure my arms are gonna be useless today. (Sorry Mylo, mommy can't hold you right now because her arms fell off.)

A Big Mac is 1,937 burpees?
Uh, I'll just have a salad then.
In fact, scratch that. I'm good. I don't need to eat.

And my core? Yeah, it hurts to cough sneeze laugh breathe exist. But that's probably from the kettlebell swings. Also with 20#.

This getting in shape business is no fuckin' joke. But I think back to the time I did my first real push up and how good I felt. Now I can do like 50. I think back to when I ran my first mile and it took my jiggly ass almost 15 minutes. Yesterday I crushed it at 8:21. I think about the size small (in Juniors) booty shorts I'm wearing as I type this. Fuck yeah, y'all. Fuck. Yeah. 

I'm not saying that for praise. I say that because I used to be the fatty at the gym. Are you that girl now? Were you that girl at one point? You can do it. You can reach your goal.

The question I always get:
How do you workout at lunch and not sweat all of your pretty off? (I may have paraphrased.)

I do sweat my pretty off. Then I reapply it, duh.

At the risk of sounding like a total douchehole, I don't wear a ton of make up. Some BB cream, concealer if I have a zit (because sometimes my face forgets that I'm not a fucking tween), and a little powder. Eye shadow and mascara. Chapstick, maybe lip gloss. Done. Easy peasy lemon squeezy and I'm back to work in 15.

Low pony, bangs and some pearl earrings.
Fact: Did you know that Meghan means "pearl"?
Now you do.
My BFF gave me a pearl necklace once for that reason.
And then we lol'd because...pearl necklace.

Sometimes I don't shower after lunch workouts, like if I only get a little sweaty. Just air that shit out, get some deodorant and spray on some coconut lime verbena and everyone will think you smell like the beach when you get back to your desk. Joke's on them.

Other times, I shower but I don't wash my hair. I put it in a low ponytail for the rest of the day and unpin my bangs. Then I reapply make up and put my clothes back on like the classy lady I am.

I still have a scar on my knee from one of the times my shoes tried to kill me.

If I can do it at lunch, you can too.
5 minutes to change into your workout gear.
40 minutes to workout.
15 to get work-ready again.

Oh, you want to eat at lunch? Eating is for chumps. Ha, kidding. I eat my lunch while I'm working at my desk. My boss is actually pretty flexible and lets me take my "lunch" in the afternoon when the gym is less busy.

Errrday, son.


  1. You go girl.
    I'm at at 4:45 every morning for my workouts.
    It blows to see that hour of the morning, but my workout is done for the day and I can get on with my life.

    I've love to have the ability to workout over lunch. Too bad I work in the middle of fucking no-where!

  2. Good job! Such a good way to get a workout in!

  3. 45 weighted burpees? Holy crap, I hurt just thinking about that. At this point, I'm not able to workout over lunch so it is usually at night. It is just about making time (which I suck at). Totally LOL'd at the pearl necklace comment, too.

  4. I still can't get over that first paragraph where you did weighted burpees. Holy Hell! I did the iron strength workout for my cross train 2 days ago and it included a burpee pyramid starting with 10. I am still breathing shallow and scooting down stairs. Got any good thigh exercises?

  5. 20 pounds in each hand while doing burpees? Holy cow! I'll do some lunges or squats with that, but that is hard. I'm just working in the regular ol' burpees to start.

    I'm a SAHM with a home gym, so I pretty much live in my workout wear and rarely change out of it. I get in several workouts throughout the day ... I'm a sweaty mess much of the time. I do TRY to make the transformation into real clothes and makeup if I leave the house where I might be seen (something other than carpools), but I sometimes slack on that too.

  6. Pearls...thanks. I needed a laugh and some motivation today.

  7. You are such a flipping champ. I don't even want to think about weighted burpees.


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