There has to be something in the water.

It seems like an unusual amount of my friends are pregnant. (Is there something in the water? Because I'm scared shitless to drink it now.) You'll WIN the baby shower if you show up with any of these gifts, and we all know winning is the most important thing. You're welcome.

I mean, if you have to put clothes on it, then the clothes should be hilarious, right?

$19 from HERE

We ALL know how difficult it is to put a toddler down for night-night. CAN I GET AN AMEN. This book is perfect for those nights when your kid is still running around like an idiot at 9pm and ALL you want in the world is for the little shit to get in bed without being an asshole about it.

$10 from HERE
Narrated by Samuel L. Jackson HERE
You HAVE to listen to that narration. It's the best thing since "A royale with cheese."

Winter is coming. (GoT, yessss.) You would feel horrible if you let your friend's/ family member's/ coworker's baby freeze, right? I got you covered.

$20 from HERE
Baby, it's cold outside.

Or if you're looking for something a little more anatomical, might I suggest:

$11 from HERE
And it comes in a variety of nipple colors.

Pacifiers. Sweet Jesus, don't leave home without at least 7.

$10 from HERE
I mustache you a question.

$5 from HERE
But seriously.

And last, but certainly not least, baby gotta wear shoes, right? 

$34 from HERE
They're just so...midgey.

Like I said, you'll win the baby shower if you show up with any of these things. Keep your eyes on the prize, baby.


  1. I think it John Travolta who did the "royale with cheese" monologue.

  2. P absolutely hands down needs that paci immediately...

  3. That book cracks me up! My coworker recieved it as a gift from her family and we passed it around the office for days reading and laughing at it! Great bedtime story!

  4. "And it comes in a variety of nipple colors."

    LMFAO. So ridiculous. they come in men's sizes?

  5. Bobby, If you are breast feeding a baby, you need to hit the gym bro.

    And can we be done with the mustache thing now? It's not the Roaring 20s. It was fun, now it's done.

    Next up, everyone makes bunny ears with their fingers.

  6. I HAVE to get my little nephew the bearded hat. Too funny!!!

  7. My best friend is having a baby in January, so I obviously HAVE to buy that bearded beanie and mustache pacifier. I will ROCK this baby shower!

    ~Candice from Lattes and Lists


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