White girls CAN dance

It took me 2 beers to get dance-with-the-black-guy-with-awesome-arm-muscles confident on Friday. (Arm muscles are my favorite, hands down. Ha, hilarious pun, as per usual.) He spun me all around the dance floor and it. was. awesome.

I can technically cross "go country dancing" off of my bucket list, but I want a redo. (Similarly, I need a kayaking redo.) My friend and I didn't handle it right - you should go in a group of guys and girls so you always have someone to dance with. For every song we danced to, there were 2 where we just stood there with our thumbs up our asses beers and tried to figure out each couple's story.

"Aw, I wonder if that old man is super rich or if that's his daughter."

"Those boobs are fake, F'SHO." "I can't stop looking at them, it's like they're looking back at me."

And so on.

Before we went dancing, I had sushi for my first time ev. I'm allergic to shellfish, so I always just backed up off it. This weekend I threw caution to the wind - bonus points if we wind up in the ER!

Is that an epipen in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Oh, it's expired?
I like to live dangerously.

We didn't wind up in the ER. Turns out "mouthgasm" isn't a serious enough condition.

We got two different kinds of rolls.
Both were delish.

My friend didn't even have to life-stab me with epinephrine, so this night was clearly a success.

Note: I would never actually put my life in danger, y'all. My allergy is more of an "intolerance", and I only have an epipen because my doctor was being super-extra cautious. It would be awkward if I didn't have one and I wound up needing it, you see. Mostly skrimps just make me burp, um, in 3D.


  1. Burp in 3D, haha. Classic.

    Wish I coulda joined. I love sooshee.

    P.S. Black guys love blonde girls. That's a fact. But to clarify... you were country dancing with a black guy? I wish I could've seen that. Do black guys country dance as well as they everything-else-dance?

  2. You are hilarious. And hot. Love me some Nerky! Glad you didn't have to use the epipen!

  3. Freaking hilarious! Black guys are the best to dance with!!

  4. It takes a lot more than 2 beers to get this white girl dancing! Though I do dare say that I have more rhythm than my half-black husband...don't tell him though, he's totally in denial. Glad you didn't need to be life-stabbed!

  5. Mouthgasms are only life threatening if you live somplace that doesn't believe in joy.

    Also, go you for crossing 2 bucket list items off in one night! I'll do a do-over with you, sounds like fun!


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