A case of the shinies. The sunshinies.

The newest (to me) blogging award is making the rounds! I got nominated for the Sunshine Award by FOUR lovelies who think my menacing shit-talking blog brightens their day. That makes me feel the warm fuzzies, y'all. It's always been my goal to make you hookers (and hookos) smile. It's a bonus (and quite frankly, surreal) that some of you find my stories inspiring. Thanks. A lot.

It's a good thing they didn't make the award graphic to, uh, feminine or anything.
Flowers are nature's vaginas.
I'm just sayin'.

About the award:
The award is circulated to those bloggers to let them know that their posts brighten your day.

The Rules: Always with the fuckin' rules, man.
1.  Include award logo in a post or on your blog.
2.  Link to the person who nominated you - Kimyyy at That's the Thing About Destiny, Cait at Your Favorite Girlfriend, Melissa at My Life as a Folz, and Amanda at My Very Own Modern Family. (Holy shitballs, thanks guys!)
3.  Answer 10 questions about yourself.
4.  Nominate 10 bloggers to receive the award. Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated. (Pretty sure every blogger I read regularly has been nominated already because I'm late to the party as per usual. Y'all know by now that I'm always late. Stop trying to CHANGE me.)

Kimmyyy's Questions:

First of all, Kim is one of the kindest-spirited strangers I know. We've never met IRL, but I know we'd be fast friends.

1. Favorite desert recipe?
When I want to impress people: Fruit tart. Muthafuckin' recipe at the muthafuckin' link.

When it's just my face eating and I want to be healthy-ish: strawberries, bananas and hershey's lite syrup. Shamelessly stolen from Mama Laughlin's repertoire a hundred years ago (At least.)

2. Song you could listen to on repeat for days?

That's My Kinda Night by Luke Bryan. I've been really into country lately.

Floatin' down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner.

3. What would your last meal be?

A medium rare cheeseburger with provolone, bacon, bbq sauce, avocado, red onion, and spinach. I mean, not that I've thought about it.

4. What is the 17th picture on your phone?

Counting back from the most recent? Yes. The answer is yes.

Pretty fly for a white guy.

5. Must See TV show for fall you can not wait to start?

I don't have cable. Sooooooooooo, there's that. I don't watch much tv as it is, and I'm definitely not having a Netflix Glee marathon as I type this.

6. Favorite sports team(s)?

Oh, uhh. The ones with the sports. And things.

7. What did you do on your 21st birthday?

I got drunk on Fry Street (Denton, represent!) with my bff and roommate, who is now my token gay friend. The fact that I lived with a single, good-looking, funny guy made the guys I dated SUPER jealous. No worries bro, he probably likes you as much as I do.

8. Whats your favorite thing at Taco Bell? (don't pretend like you do not like it!)

The Messican Pizza. They give you a fork, but a REAL playa eats that shit with his or her hands.

9. Favorite Reality show?

Oh, I don't watch. I know it's a douchey thing to say, but a lack of cable and time really hinders my tv watching. Maybe something with Gordon Ramsay? Did you know his did a muhfuckin' triathlon this weekend? Swoon. His instagram is @gordongram. It's how I know his secrets.

10. Cats or Dogs

I have a dog. I like cats too, though. I'm allergic, but that's not a reason to hate them. My kiddo discovered that my brother has a pussy(cat) and chased it around his house screaming "KITTY!" and giggling uncontrollably. I hope that's how he loses his virginity.

Caitlin's Questions:

Y'all, this girl sent me the nicest email I've ever received from a reader. For real, it legit lifted my spirits on a lame day I was having. You think I'm too busy for your emails? You're wrong. I answer all of them, and your positivity is always welcome. You people are why I even write this craziness.

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Brush my teeth. Always. Usually.

2. What is the 3rd picture on your phone? Share it!
I know it's shocking...

But how could you not photograph that smiling face a billion times?

3. What TV show are you most excited about returning this fall?
Wouldn't it be awkward if I answered this question differently this time?

4. What is something really popular that you secretly (or not so secretly) loathe?
Cleanses. Twerking. Paleo or whatever fad diet is happening.

5. Do you have any pets? Tell us about them! Bonus points for pictures.
Yep, I have a little Fluffy McBarkersons named Bear. He used to lay on my back every night when I blogged, and now he lays under my legs as they're propped up on pillows. 

Don't judge our methods.

6. If you could put together one outfit that represents you perfectly, what would it be?
Oh my, this is a hard one. (twss) I'd probably have to go with a short colorful dress, nude stilettos and a clutch big enough for my phone, ID and some lip gloss. I don't need money, you're buying my drinks tonight.

7. What is your favorite adult beverage?
I've been into beer a lot lately, and I'm set if Shiner's on the menu. Bock, Blonde or Ruby Red, please. None of that hefewiezen bullshit.

I also like vodka and the various ways you can mix it.

8. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
I take US Weekly magazines from my dad's office and read them while I'm pooping.

9. What are 3 positive words to describe you?
Silly, nerky, and dare I say, sunshiney?

10. How excited are you to be nominated?
Super way excited!

Melissa's Questions:

Melissa is someone I've also never met IRL, but she's so nice and emailed me to check in after my surgery like she KNOWS me. Y'all, some of the people I talk to regularly in my real life didn't do that. There are some wicked nice people up in here, and I like it.

1. What is your favorite "skinny" recipe?
Spinach, almond coconut milk, banana, mango, pineapple, whatever fruit you have smoothies. No ice cream or yogurt. Shit is DELISH. You can't taste the spinach, I promise. I also do turkey stuffed peppers a lot, ground turkey, quinoa or rice, onions, cheese, pasta sauce. Cook it all and stuff bell peppers and bake 'em.

2. What is your favorite exercise?
Running, typically. Lately I've been into working my abs more though. I love oblique workouts.
3. Where did you meet your spouse/significant other?
Well this is awkward.

4. Do you have pets? If so what kinds?
Puppeh DAWG.

5. What advice would you give to someone running their first half marathon?
Take your training seriously and you're gonna rock it! I like the Honey Stinger smoothie flavored energy gummy things at miles 5 and 8ish. Make sure you have some good tunes for miles 8-11 because it's the most boring stretch that you're gonna want to start walking, but you'll be WAY proud of yourself when you run the whole thing!

6. Weight lifting or cardio?
Both. I used to just do cardio, but it's not enough. Weight lifting won't make you big, ladies. Steroids make you big.

Tell me you don't want dat ass.
You either want to bury your face in it, or you want it as your ass so that other people will want to bury their face in it.
No judgment here.

7. Whats your favorite cardio?
Running. I also liked kickboxing that one time I took it, but I'm pretty sure I looked like a spastic bowl of jello.

8. Whats your favorite TV show right now?
Arrested Development is my favorite tv show in all the land. I don't have a "current" fave. No cable.

9. How many times a week do you workout?
Typically, 6 days a week and sometimes twice a day. I haven't worked out at all since my surgery last week though. I feel like my body needs to rest, so I'm resting. I'm pretty exhausted all the time, so I feel like that's probably a sign that my resources are being used healing, and I don't want to overdo it yet. You'll see intstapics of my gym by the end of the week though, I feel sure of it.

10. Do you have cheat meals? If so, whats your favorite?
Nope. I've never been restrictive in my diet - I almost always eat what I'm craving, just in moderation. I don't do well with deprivation. If you're asking about the things that are terrible for me that I LOVE, then cheeseburgers, fried chicken, chocolate chip cookies and bbq anything are gonna top the list. And pizza. And popcorn WITH butter, because duh.

Amanda's Questions:

She's hilarious and quick-witted, and also someone I've never met. I feel like she and I could totally be bffs IRL. It's funny the people you "meet" blogging, and how easily you get along via email and comments. She's super funny on twitter too, @zanda674.

1. What is your greatest accomplishment?
Losing 65 pounds.

2. Manicures or do your own nails?
My own. I rarely paint my fingernails because it chips and I'm lazy about removing the polish. My toenails are painted at all times though. At. All. Times.

3. Do you play any musical instruments?
I was on the drumline in high school, but not any more. I mean, I could probably bust a groove on a drumset, but I don't have one so there's really no way to know.

4. If you had to be in a talent show, what would be your talent?
I would try stand up comedy. The self-deprecating kind, not the douchey Dane Cook kind.

5. What is your favorite board game?
Cards Against Humanity is fun as shit with the right group of friends. I've also laugh REALLY hard playing Cranium, Would You Rather and Trivial Pursuit. My friends are awesomesauce and hilarious.

6. Where do you rank in birth order with your siblings (if any)?
Youngest and only gurl.

7. What is the one city you want to visit before you die?
Paris. And London. And beaches, wherever.

8. Solids or prints?
Both have their time and place. I love color, period. I'm just like Elton John, only not a flamboyantly gay man.

9. What is your go-to recipe for a potluck?
Dessert: Fruit tart. Side: Tzatziki and pita chips. I never bring a main dish. My cooking skillz haven't graduated to that level yet.

10. If you could win a $5000 gift card, which store would it be for?
Target. You can get ALL THE THINGS at Target.

It's late now and I'm too tired to think of questions, but here are some blogs I read a lot, even if I don't comment as often as I should (I have to work at work, y'all!):


  1. I just snorted drink out of my nose while reading your favorite guilty pleasure ;) Love your blog!

  2. You've had the best answers yet to these often repetitive boring questions!

  3. You are too much. I love your answers. But I regret to tell you have been nominated for a 5th Sunshine award. But I have also nominated you for the Liebster Award. Please don't feel like you have to do any of them. I love you blog and wanted to show my love.

  4. HAHAHAHAHA your hope for how Mylo loses his virginity just got me a lot of weird looks at the office when I bust out laughing. Great visual image of his 17 year old self chasing girls around the cafeteria giggling until he catches one.

  5. So many of the things here. We are so alike, it scares me in some ways. Congratulations on all of the nominations!

  6. This was an extra treat because we got so many answers from you! Thanks for participating and kick ass at the gym today - make the ab mat and the lat bar your bitch!

  7. First off, Milo is just too freaking adorable. I love your pics of him. I loved reading all your answers and I'm with on the favorite team with the sports and things. I'm totally going to make it down to Dallas sometime so we can go out and have guys buy drinks for us!


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