Frisky Friday: The Girl Bro

A girl bro is that girl that's "one of the guys". She drinks beer and wears t-shirts and flip flops. She likes sports and/or outdoorsy things. She's laid back and easy going. She probably makes vulgar jokes, and if not, she definitely laughs at them. Dramatic or high maintenance are not words you'd ever use to describe her. (Why yes, I am a girl bro.) She has a lot of guy friends because she's relatable and down to earth and she also has boobs. Guys love boobs.



I always thought that being a girl bro was an asset in dating, but it's not really. On paper it sounds awesome. She's that girl that won't be mad about little things. She's not gonna require you to buy fancy jewels. She's easy to talk to and might even think about sex as often as you do. (I said might.)

The Friend Zone

Because girl bros are essentially bros but with lady parts, girl bros get friend zoned supah fast. Here's what happens: 

1) Guy likes girl bro, she's pretty and thinks like he does. Seems like a double win.
2) Guy asks out girl bro.
3) The date.
4) Girl bro gets friend zoned.
5) Girl bro can't figure out what happened.

This is why girl bros have a lot of guy friends. Girl bros are excellent at giving out relationship advice, because they can tell you why your girlfriend or wife is acting batshit insane and what you can do to calm her the fuck down.

What Happened

Dating a girl bro seems like a great idea. The thing is, once a guy gets to talking to a girl bro, he realizes he wants those things he complains about that make girls girly. He wants her to be high maintenance. What it really comes down to is that he doesn't want to date himself.

I get it, I do.


(I have to thank my bro Chris for hammering out this logic with me. Shout out. Also, his girlfriend? DEFINITELY not a girl bro.)

But are there levels of girl bro?

You bet your sweet ass there are. A girl bro isn't always wearing basketball shorts and no make-up. Being a girl bro is more about your attitude than your clothes or your look. A girl bro can still bring it in some stilettos. Anna Kendrick is probably a good example of a girly girl bro, and Coach Bieste on Glee is more of a manly girl bro. You can fall anywhere in the spectrum.

"Let me remind everybody of the reality of the situation."
She's funny.
I like it.

As always, this isn't true for everyone. I'm sure SOME guys are into girl bros. (Just let me know where you find them.) But I also think Anna is single. And Coach Bieste is single. And I'm single. Maybe there is something to this logic. (I don't actually know if Anna is single. I'm not hip on the gossip downlow. Just guessing. Also, Coach Bieste is fictional, so there's that.)

Comments

  1. I'm a girl bro...and I'm single too. I'm gonna work on being more dramatic. :)

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  2. Dang girl, my friend and I were just talking about this the other day. She's a girl bro and single as well. I'm a girl bro to an extent but primarily because I work with 99% males. I am single as well. *sigh*

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  3. Hmmmm... I understand the logic and maybe that's why I wasn't a girl bro till I got married. Lol. I was super high maintenance before and not so much now. They "men" want a girl bro but one that also is high maintenance. Single girls can't win.

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  4. I'm a girl bro and happily married. So there is hope! I think the key is finding a really masculine dude so that even if you are a girl bro, you still seem really girly compared to him. ;)
    Another point in the favor of a girl bro girlfriend/wife...she will actually like a guy's friends. My husband's friends' wives go running when the guys are over where as I am all about hanging with the dudes.

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  5. Yes, just yes to this post. Just graduated college in May and now I'm back in my hometown and my only friends left here? Guys. Very cute ones, but I'm so far friend zoned it isn't even funny.

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  6. You need a man-chick! They guy that acts kinda like a girl, gets upset over stupid shit, owns more scarves than you, into are and classy beers (I like classy beer but cheap beer is just as good). Man-chicks? Next Friday???

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  7. I would consider myself a girl bro. I like to look nice, but also will roll around on the weekends sans make-up in a tshirt and shorts. Tim has always been into my "skank look" (skank as in slouchy not skank as in ho) as I like to call it more than the dolled up version. I was almost always the friend and rarely the girlfriend and then bam...Tim. I have my typical bat shit crazy female stuff and I like to laugh my ass off at inappropriate/disgusting humor. I am not girly, yet I am girly. I think girl bros are the perfect package. The right guy that can appreciate that just has not popped into your life yet.

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  8. best post ever.

    just sayin. Combing two of my FAV oRR ITE things!

    Glee and Pitch Perfect.

    you rock my socks off.

    That is all.

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  9. I think it's the human rule of "we want what we don't have." They get the high maintenance girl who takes over an hour to get ready, THEN they want a girl who wants to throw on a baseball cap and some BB cream. Just like we want a guy to shave for once, but not too much because that would be too metro. Humans are weird.
    Another Girl Bro-type II (as there are types. I can't play sports to save my life. But I could bring on the Hunger Games if ever needed). ;-P That special guy will find you when the time is right! Trust me!!

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  10. This used to happen to me a lot. All of this is true!

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  11. I like to think I'm a little bit of both. I love to drink beer, wear flip flops, watch sports, and laugh at vulgar jokes....but I'm also a freak about good makeup, being a girly girl sometimes, and being treated like a lady.

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  12. I am a girl bro... and one day one of my bros set me up with my current spouse.... soooo after many years of being friend zoned... I was finally in the date zone! haha

    There is hope for girl bros everywhere! No need to change how awesome you/ we are!

    The hubs likes that I am low maintenance and will go fishing/camping/hunting with him!

    ReplyDelete

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