The million dollar question
I lost a tonna weight, son. I tell everyone that comments on my healthy lunches or the fact that I go to the gym every day. I tell everyone that calls me petite, tiny, skinny, etc. I always say that I wasn't always this way and that I lost a lot of weight. They smile and nod and ask how much, and I say SEVENTY POUNDS, BITCH. (Okay, I don't. But I do say 70 pounds.) That's when their jaws drop.
"I can't even picture you with 70 more pounds!" or "No way!" or when it's not during business hours, "You're not fucking serious!"
And then BOOM, I smack 'em with a before picture I have on my phone. Most of the time their reaction is, "Oh..."
Because I was fat. I'm the first to admit it. Also I had a terrible haircut. (And superhot beige bra straps hanging out. SEXUAL.)
So then they know I'm for real. They know why it's important to me to eat healthy food and hit the gym a lot. What's the next question?
How did you do it?
Um, well how much time do you have? Because it's not a short answer. Oh wait, yes it is. Stop eating shit and start moving your body. That's the answer. The short answer, anyway. Then there's the next question.
That's not to say I don't LUH me a cheeseburger. I do.
I'm just more discriminant with my cheeseburgers now.
Ain't no way, ain't no how I'm eating any of that fast food bull ish.
Gimme a medium rare with cheese, avocado, spinach, pineapple and bbq sauce ALL DAY LONG.
How did you start?
I downloaded MyFitnessPal to track my calories and fix my portion sizes. I downloaded a C25K (That's couch to 5k if you're new to this. I had to google that acronym when I first started.) app and committed to finishing that bitch. I also signed up for a half marathon with my BFF. If you have a goal to work toward, you're more likely to stay at it.
These are all things I tell people. I condense it down and give them what I did, how I started and a couple of tips depending on their battle. Drink a ton of water. Chew gum when you have cravings. I've been there, I know.
And then what happens?
They give me a muthafucking EXCUSE as to why they can't achieve it. WRONG, BITCH. You CAN! How are you and I so different that I can do it, but you can't? We're not.You have to believe you can do it and make it a priority in your life and then you will succeed. That sounds cheesy as hell, but it's the truth. Then once you achieve your goal, you'll feel like you can do anything.