Eating mostly clean

I wanted to lose all of my extra poundage because I felt like shit about myself and I wanted to feel better. I wanted to feel pretty and I wanted to have fun with my son and do all the things. ALL THE THINGS. Now I'm at a comfortable size, and I'm DOING ALL THE THINGS.

I say all of that, because I was contemplating starting the Advocare 10 day cleanse today. Last week I posted a status on Facebook about it, asking yea or nay and for people's opinions of it, and then I started thinking about it. REALLY thinking about it. And then I came to a conclusion.

NO, I don't want to do a cleanse. I feel fine. Good, even. I'm JUST now getting back to where I can workout hard again after surgery, let's just calm our tits with all of this cleanse nonsense. Plus, the last time I did a cleanse was pretty lame. (Granted, it wasn't the Advocare one. I've never experienced Advocare, but it's all the rage.)

Starting a cleanse sounds like a terrible idea to me now. I'd much rather eat mostly "clean" with a few cheeseburgers and froyo-Friday thrown in. 

Let's talk about clean eating. It means eating shit that isn't overly processed, fatty, sugary, chemical-y, etc. Just don't overthink it - eating clean is exactly what it sounds like. Don't douse your veggies in butter and creamy sauces (heh). Don't dip your strawberries in sugar. (I totes used to do that. It's fucking DELISH, but stupid.)

I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

That's why I say I eat MOSTLY clean. I eat a ton of fruits, veggies and lean protein. I also eat junior mints and cheeseburgers. Losing weight and gaining confidence gave me license to live and enjoy my life, and doing so doesn't include cleanses and fad diets. They just don't work for me - the SECOND you tell me I can't have something, the more I want it. It works that way with guys I like, too. (It's how I am. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME.)

The key to being successful is moderation. It's always been the name of the game for me, and for good reason. Shit works.

Here's an example: Saturday night I went to see Thor 2 and snuck (sneaked?) in wine and junior mints, my typical MO for movie-going. (Perks of having a mom-purse, brah.) Movie theatre popcorn is my favorite, so I get it every time I go to the movies and you bettah BUHLEE I have them layer that butter. Here's the thing. I get a SMALL popcorn. I eat a handful of junior mints. I (grudgingly) share my wine with whoever I'm with. I go see a movie maybe once a month. I call this living with moderation. I do the shit I want to do in a reasonable fashion, and lookie there, I didn't gain back my 70 pounds over night. I didn't gain any weight, in fact.

Thor was excellent, by the way. I liked it better than the first one. Loki was lookin' mighty fine, and Chris Hemsworth's arm muscles made me drool all over myself. Here's a tip for the ladies (just the tip): Go see the man-movies your man wants to see, because there is always something for you. (In other Nerky movie news, Nine was the bad guy in Thor 2, so that's neat, and the new X-Men movie looks BADASS.)

You betcher ass I'll kneel.


  1. I really wish cheeseburgers and fries were considered clean eating.

  2. I am usually not bad about eating candy but since Halloween I can't but have a little lol

  3. I used to sneak a Wendy's full loaded baked potato and frosty into the movies, along with a 6 pack... yeah I'm awesome.

  4. I am glad that you posted this. I was totally thinking about doing a cleanse recently, but now I am rethinking it. I recently fell off the clean eating wagon, and I am finding my way back so I thought that a cleanse would help, Truly I think it's just important to begin the clean eating again, and not put my body through a crazy ass cleanse!

  5. You absolutely have to do what works for you! I try not to limit myself from anything (except sodas.. I cannot have any because if I have just one, it will avalanche into drinking ALL THE SODAS). But hell, if I feel like I had a good exercise day and I want a cheeseburger, then dammit a cheeseburger I shall have (maybe only halfsies).

    Yes, I ADORED Thor 2 also! Loved it SOOOO much better than the first one! I can't wait for XMen - DOFP either! McAvoy = le drool

  6. OH and funny story. I used to manage a movie theater. We had people sneaking in the weirdest stuff. The most epic one was an entire bucket of chicken and a 6 pack of the Beast. How it got past my doorman, I'll never know. I suspect he had someone wait outside the exit in the theater and voila chicken delivery...

  7. The Dark World was way better than Thor, imho. I totally hopped on the Loki bandwagon with this one, and Thor was looking some kinda hot. Plus Zachary Levi was in it.


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