As I happily did the dishes at 11pm last night, humming along with my fave Pandora station for cleaning the house (Blurred Lines radio - it's so dancy), I thought to myself, "Dafuq am I so perky for?" (And then I thought, "Stop ending sentences with prepositions.")

And that's the moment I realized drinking a full serving of Spark at 5:30pm was a bad move.

I don't even drink Spark that often. I just knew I was gonna be doing sprints at the gym and I wanted to make them my bitch to maximize my cardio before stretching out all the feels in yoga class. (Read: I forgot I had it and I saw it on my counter and says to myself, I says, "Say, I'm headed to the gym, now is an excellent time for Spark. Pip pip. Cheerio.")

Then I got to the gym and every single treadmill was taken. It's cold outside, I get it. How bout some of you assholes use the elliptical, though? (Really I just need one of you assholes to use the elliptical.) I can roll with the punches though, so I stair-climbed. I had 18 minutes before yoga because I was late as per usual, so I cranked that sucker up to 12 and was damn near running up the stairs. I climbed like a white girl in a horror movie for 2 miles and burned over 200 calories. I was sweating like a field hand when I walked into yoga - not bad for less than 20 minutes. I can't wait for dat ass to come in.

The real accomplishment is that I held Crow AND Warrior 3, which is shocking because Spark makes you feel like you're on cocaine. (Or crack. Whatever the appropriate drug reference is here, let's pretend I used it.) Not typically great for balance. Or calm. Or general stillness.

Moral of the story: Don't do drugs in the evening.


  1. Hmmmm, methinks I should be drinking spark BEFORE my 4:30am workout instead of AFTER.....

  2. Lol. Yeah that's why I don't drink it past 3pm but really I could have a soda and be fine.

  3. Hilarious and good to know!

  4. This is hilarious. I don't get the ants in my pants feeling but if I drink it after 3:30 I will not fall asleep until at least 11. My motto when I drink Spark in the evenings "too many things to do, can't sleep. I can sleep when I'm dead"

  5. Note to self....Try Spark. STAT. :)

  6. This is just awesome. Why are we not friends? haha. I 'm definitely gonna have to get some SPARK. I currently possess the energy level of a jello mold.

  7. I can't hold crow to save my life. You are such a yoga badass.


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