Mother's Day

If there's one thing I know, it's that I'm a great mom. 

Like that time I forgot about soccer practice after making a big deal about my ex-husband not committing to bringing our son to practice every week. 

And that time I had a glass* of wine while I was decorating my son's first birthday cupcakes for his class. I'm sorry, mommy was too drunk to make Pinterest cupcakes, son. Please enjoy these fuckupcakes instead. *A full glass. To the top. More like a cup of wine than a glass of wine, if we're getting real about it.

And that time I sat my potty-training toddler on the potty and he peed all over the floor because I didn't account for the crack between the toilet seat and bowl.

And the time I stepped away for a second and the kid fell down the stairs. 

My point is, mistakes happen. Nobody birthed a how-to guide with their kid. None of us know what were doing, so let's just embrace the chaos. Take a minute and think back to some of your parents' epic fails. And then think about how your parents were your age or close to it and didn't know what the fuck they were doing either. Makes you maybe want to cut them a little slack, amiright? Happy Mother's Day coming up. Cheers to trying our best to not fuck up our kids.


  1. From what I have seen you are a GREAT mom. I'm a mom too {my son will be thirteen this Friday. OMG} and boy have I made some mistakes. But that's part of it.
    You are a super mom - happy early Mother's Day!

  2. I love this post. I try everyday not to eff up my children... I guess we will see how I did when they are grown.

  3. Angela (@Spamgela twitter and @Cookiemomster IG)May 7, 2014 at 7:47 AM

    i'm not saving for college, i'm saving for therapy

  4. "I'm sorry, mommy was too drunk to make Pinterest cupcakes, son. Please enjoy these fuckupcakes instead."
    You sooo need to make an eCard with this! I just died!


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