Frisky Friday: Nudies

Remember when you had to take your pictures to get them developed in order to see what the pictures were? As in, you didn't get to see them immediately and delete all the failed selfies with poor lighting and too many chins? And nekkid pictures? Fuuuuuuuuck that. I'm not down with the minimum wage Walgreens employee seeing my vajay, mkay? 

Thank goodness we have smartphones now that make it easy peasy lemon squeezy to send and save nudies from our boner-cams. Likewise, it's perfectly easy to post said nudies on the internet for all eyes to see. Case in point:

This isn't me.
I repeat: This isn't me.
I mean, yeahhhh it's totally me and that's exactly what I look like half naked.

I don't know the story behind the above picture or the girl in it. (In fact, if this is you and you're offended that I posted it, I'll take it down. Just tell me.) All I know is it fell into my lap when my gym bro told me he found dirty pictures of me on the internet. For a minute, I was scared y'all. I mean, I was pretty sure that no one I've sent pictures to would post them publicly, but you never really know. (We'll get to that in a minute.) So he sent it to me and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, because thank Stormtrooper Jesus it's not me. (But damn girl, look at you with your blonde hair, black glasses and perky ass.)

I feel like the nudie rules are loosely defined, similar to sex tape rules. (I mean, for shit's sake guys. Stop making sex tapes with dill holes and then maybe they won't be released into the world for everyone's viewing pleasure.) People are sending half nekkid pics with little to no contact with a person. How do you know they aren't going to show all of their friends? You don't. How do you know they aren't posting them somewhere publicly? You don't. Why would you just let someone see all of your business without making them work for it? Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely pro-nudie. Let's just not be so carefree about it, okie dokie?

So when do you send nudies? You have to trust who you're sending them to. That means you probably have to have at least met them in person. AT LEAST. And even then, I've met a lot of people in person that I don't want to see me naked. You should also be age appropriate. (Don't be gross.)

Boobs aren't special. They're everywhere, all the time. A dime a dozen. Titties just flopping around. What makes them special is who they're attached to. 

Neither are dick pics. Guys. GUYS. Nobody wants to see your meat party. See above re: not special.

DON'T GET YOUR FACE IN THE PICTURE. Because you never really know a person's intentions. At least if your relationship/fuck buddy/sexting/whatever poor choices you're making ends badly, you'll just be another pair of boobs on the internet instead of OMG NERKY BOOBS ON THE INTERNET.

Same with unique tattoos. If I send an ass picture and my Always tattoo is visible on my side, you're gonna know it's my ass. I don't want you to know it's my ass, strangers. 

The general theme is you should CYA (metaphorically) by not sending nudies to assbags. It's better for everyone if you care about the person attached to the body in the picture. I definitely want nudies when I'm in a relationship with someone because they're fun and exciting and super sexy (aka fap fuel). It's finding a person deserving of my nudies that's challenging. (But worth it.)


  1. OMG I thought this was you even after you said it wasn't. As in I stared at it for an inappropriate amount of time thinking 'what in the hell hasn't gotten into Nerky..' thank sweet baby jesus it's not hahaha poor girl whoever you are..


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