I've never been puhticuluhly girly. As a kid I had 3 older brothers that mostly just beat the shit out of me because they beat the shit out of each other (non-discriminatory ass-whoopin'). We watched TMNT and Dukes of Hazard and got muddy playing outside. I missed the boat on Indian Princesses and ballet classes or whatever little girls do. My BFF taught me how to use roll-on glitter in the mid 90s and that was my intro into girl world. I glittered the everlivin' out of my face until she taught me how to apply blue sparkly eye shadow up to my eyebrows, then it was game on. I rocked that shit all through middle school like a fuggin' gangsta.

Before someone told me about glitter and make-up, I was just a kid having fun being a kid. I couldn't've (yesssssss, double contraction) cared less about hair bows or make-up or what I was wearing. What changed me? 

I dunno, maybe the female celebrities in the media dressing like sweet little prostitutes had something to do with it.

Tween Nerk: Oh, this is what it means to be a girl? I'm not sure I'm ready to suggestively gyrate my ass into someone, but I guess I should probably at least dye my hair and put on some a ton of make-up, right? And I'm definitely wearing too many clothes. I should show more skin - then people will think I'm pretty for sure.

Forget having a beautiful mind or soul. You gotta fake it til you make it. 

That's why it's so awesome that on the heels of Miley Cyrus and her various scantily clad twerk-offs and whatever other young celebrities and their antics that I'm too old to give a shit about, Colbie Caillat released a "be yourself because you're stuck with you and it's better to like yourself than to hate who you've become" music video. Girl power! (FIST PUMP)

If that doesn't work, click HERE for the video

It's a good reminder - am I working out to better myself or to impress other people? (For myself.) Do I wear heels because I like them or so that I look good for other people? (Mostly because I like them, but not always.) Do I put on make-up every day for me or because I want to fit in with the pretty girls? (Jury's out.) Lately I've been doing a much better job about not giving a rat's vagina about what people think of me, and what a weight that's been lifted. Would you believe that as a grown-ass woman I still get made fun of for being a nerd? To those people I say, BYE FELICIA. It makes me thankful that I don't have a little girl to raise because other little girls (and women) are mean as shit. I'll just have work on raising my little boy to be a respectful, polite man.

God, enough preaching, amiright? I just really love the message of this song. I hope young girls listen to it and think twice about midriff-bearing shirts and shorts that let their ass hang out. Confidence is way more attractive than slutty clothes to the right man (or woman, if you're into that). And thank the lawd roll-on body glitter isn't a thing anymore.


  1. Of course, before Miley Trainwreck, there was Paris Hilton. South Park addressed her...

  2. That is a fabulous song and I have never even heard of it! Thanks for sharing. I totally feel your pain; many times it feels like people (women) don't want us to really be ourselves. I grew up with 5 brothers and no sisters so navigating through girl world has been difficult!

  3. That's why I like Dove's natural beauty campaign (or whatever it's called) that showcases what they have to do to make the magazine models look like magazine models.

  4. LOVE LOVE LOVE this! Thanks for sharing!!

  5. Love this!! ! Let's all be nice to each other ladies!! ! That would make life way more fun !!


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