I hope the sleeves fell off because you flexed and not because you bought it that way.

First thing's first, I'm the realest. (Rillest? Rullest?)

I have an important topic to tackle today, y'all. It's really gotten out of hand. Something must be done to stop it.

The sleeveless shirt for men.

(Pause for effect.)

I get it when you're at the gym - you need to have your arms unrestricted for maximum iron pumpage. Pump. It. Up. (Brah.) My problem is everywhere else - both the fashion tank top worn on purpose in public and the old t-shirt from your company team building event 3 years ago that you cut the sleeves off to do yard work in. No. Just, don't.

Hey girl, check out my sweet armpit hair and tiny shirt straps.

I don't dig it. What's the point? Air circulation for your pit-pubes? To show off your guns? (I don't even have ah gun. Name the movie.) To dress like a man-child? (Man tank tops also sold with propeller hat.) 

I'm not saying you should suffer in long sleeve button-downs. It's summer and hot outside, I get it. I'm saying why bother with a tank top? Just go shirtless. Stop pussyfooting around and everybody wins. 

Much better.

But maybe you're not confident in your abs. Maybe you don't want to go full-on shirtless. Well, then maybe you should wear a fucking t-shirt like an adult. 


  1. HAHAHAHA propeller hat ! I think the man tank is also acceptable on the tennis court in addition to the gym, end of list.

  2. Amen....I vote for more qualified shirtless men, meaning if you don't have anything to flaunt, then don't bother. Cover it up or show it off, but make sure there is something to show.

  3. Nope, not gonna happen. I plan on making all the chicks jealous on our cruise next month by showing off my hubs HUGE guns. Tanks for daysssssssssssssssssss. I wear tanks, he wears tanks.. We're still adults.. most of the time. lmao

  4. I only wear them to show off my "tattoo" tattoo.
    Oh...and the movie is Wayne's World.
    Camera one...camera two...

  5. Completely agree! Whenever I see a guy in a tank top I just think to myself "douche."

  6. "I don't even own uh gun to necessitate the need for uh gun rack!" Tanks on dudes in public are the equivalent to pasties on chicks at nudie bars.


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