Mickie D's

Last night I took my kid to McDonald's because he wanted to go. It wasn't a cheat meal or a special occasion. Sometimes we just go to McDonald's because it's a kid place with kid stuff. Here's the thing, I don't really like McDonald's. I used to. I used to like it a lot. Sure, I watched Super Size Me, but how could I pass up that dollar menu? I was po'. Hello, lover double cheeseburger and fries for less than $3. 

True story: I liked McDonald's so much that I went and stood in line 29 weeks pregnant outside in the Texas summer heat during a grand opening so I could get a coupon for free Big Macs for a year. Dafuq was wrong with me?

Oh right, I was fat.

Did y'all make a bump scrapbook when you were preggo?
I used to have time for craft projects.
Probably because I never exercised or cooked.

You know how you do that thing with your arm to make it look skinny in pictures? You put your hand on your hip and make sure your arm isn't touching you? (Chubsters know all the tricks to take off a few pounds in pictures, aside from actually losing weight of course.) I thought I was doing that in the picture above. I was wrong. After losing weight I asked my best friend why she never told me I got fat (we made a pact to tell each other in the event we got too fat to be cute when we were teenagers, like girls do), and she swears that she never noticed, so I made her an optometrist appointment. Turns out she's blind.

Anyway, my point is that I would have married a sausage, egg and cheese McGriddle if I wasn't already hitched and with child.

That was ages ago though and I'm a much different person now. I rarely eat fast food because I've found that it makes me ragey. When I do eat it, I always steer clear of the value meals. Cokes are wasted calories and the size of those sandwiches plus fries is absurd. My kid and I split a mighty kids meal - that's the one with 6 nugs, fries, apples and yogurt. We were both satiated, and he even got a junky piece of plastic toy. That doesn't sound like enough food for dinner, does it? It is when you eat every couple of hours like I do. I had some broccoli and a hard baked egg at around 4:30, Nosy Nancy.

Same side booth sitting is okay with your kid.
Not any other time though. 

Going to a fast food joint every so often (probably) isn't going to kill anyone. So we go. We eat nuggets and fries and play in the urine and grease stained play place. Whatever, I'd do anything for that smile.

Happy Fourth of July this weekend! May everyone reading this get laid, for God and Country.


  1. Angela (@Spamgela twitter and @Cookiemomster IG)July 3, 2014 at 7:16 AM


  2. No way could I ever split a kids meal with my 6 year old! Maybe for a snack? Nah, who am I kidding lol. Your son is super precious though! I can't believe you stood in line for a free Big Mac coupon though! That's dedication!


Post a Comment