Tough Mudder

I did a thing.

Last night at around 12:17am I signed up for the Dallas Tough Mudder. (shit shit shit shit shit shitAs soon as the confirmation page popped up, all I thought was "Oh sweet Jesus why did I do that. Why." (Related: It turns out I'm a late night impulse buy masochist.)

Probably because my brother asked me if I wanted to do it ages ago and it piqued my interest. Then I read about it and wondered if I could handle it or if I wanted to train for something that intense insane. Then read this Buzzfeed "___ reasons this is lolz" post and agreed with the sarcasm, so I talked myself out of it.

Then I decided I needed to stop being a little bitch about it because ain't nobody got time fo' dat and I know I'll regret it if I don't do it, so it's on like Donkey Kong. They even make you sign a death waiver, y'all. A death waiver.

I have 3 months to get ready to tackle this beast. I bought some bitch mittens so I can bro-down hard on the weights at the gym. Gotta keep those hands callous-free like a fucking lady.

Have y'all done a Tough Mudder? Did you live to tell the tale?


  1. Haha! They aren't that bad! I've done 2 of them! You'll do great! Can't wait to see what you think!

  2. I've been tempted myself! But I'm worried I'll end up looking like a priss who doesn't want to get dirty for the sake of ruining my shoes.
    too damn expensive for me to ruin them.
    I did my Dirty Girl last year in old shoes and they killed my shins. The course was easy, but the shoes weren't. my frugality killed my shins.

  3. 12 Miles!!!!! I'm goooooood.. I'll just stick to my 5k mud races.

  4. Did the Spartan race this past March. Ain't gonna sucked. Then again, I was a wee bit hung over from the night before. I enjoyed about 73.4% of it but could have done without the 1/2 army crawl through cold mud, at the very end. I was over it by that point.

  5. You're still tempting me. I'm leaning towards no but I DONT KNOWW!!!!!!

  6. Good luck! My bro and old boss have done it. There is no way in hell I ever could/would. 2 main reasons:
    1)I'm major claustrophobic. There was a tube on one of the courses that was filled with water almost to the top where you had to crawl through where there is very little space with no water, so you're struggling to keep your head up and breathe. That sounded bad enough. But the fact that there's a shitload of other people in with you and you are essentially stuck, would be enough to make me have a heart attack. My boss said some chick freaked out and wouldn't move and people were screaming and pushing. Hell no.
    2) electric shock. My bro is an electrician. He's been shocked numerous times. He said TM shock was the worst he's ever experienced. Again, hell no.

    Good luck! Lmao! You're much braver than I! :P

  7. I did one in April, it was the most exciting, mind screwing, intense race I've done. It was a blast! You have to without a doubt go into it thinking you will conquer this bitch! And you will! I do advise you to be on a team if you can, it helps a lot when it comes to some of the obstacles. One motto with Tuff Mudder is "no man is left behind" so if you don't end up having a team, other participants will always be there to help you. The following day you will have muscles in your body that you didn't know existed, you will have bruises and cuts,scratches that make you think back and smile! I have no doubt you won't do anything short of rocking this race! Soak it all in and enjoy! Just fore warning will be addicted after this!!!!

  8. Hahahah that buzzfeed article made me question your sanity, not gonna lie. But you're a fuggin beast so I have no doubts you'll make it your bitch!

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  10. I have not participated, but last year I took photos for some coworkers that did it. I was amazed there were people of ALL shapes and sizes. I don't know you personally but it is obvious that you are pretty damn fit....I am pretty sure that you will make it through with flying colors. I am volunteering in October - hey, we can't all be TM rockstars!!!!! I will be cheering people on at the finish line....hope to see you there!!!!


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