Goals

Real talk, brolos. It's hot as balls up in this Texas summer. Jesus be a raindrop, ain't nobody got time for a shirt. Ew, but my belly jiggles when I run shirtless. Dilemma. 

That's why my goal for summer 2015 is ABS. Gimme dat flat belleh. I can do it in 9 months, it's like a reverse pregnancy. (Week 13: Your ab is the size of a cashew.) Guess I really need to reign in that night time snacking issue I have. (No, I did NOT just insert a fistful of jelly beans in my mouth. That was someone else. LOOK AWAY.)


My 3-steps-to-abs™ process goes like this:

Step one: Gotta get on top of that mostly clean diet. As in cleaner than I've been eating. As in no more nighttime jelly beans. I mean, they're not even that good.

Step two: Cardio and ab work. I feel like this is a big fat DUH, but it's step two because if your diet is shit, then what's the point of working out? Answer: Taint no point.

Alternate step two: Purchase this:

It ain't cheatin' if everybody's doin' it, baby.
False.
It is cheating.

Step three: Profit.

I've lost 70 mothertrucking pounds. I haven't come this far to still jiggle, mkay? The time is meow, friends. Let's keep our shit tight during the approaching holiday season.

Baseline Belleh.

Comments

  1. Hahahaa omg I've never seen that Ab Hancer product!! Dying laughing. Dead.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel you. I want to reel in those abs as well before I start baby making next year!

    ReplyDelete
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