Money Money Money

You know what's so sexy? Managing your budget. Awwww yeah, input those debits and credits into your spreadsheet. I love a good formula. It's my favorite when you change one cell and then a bunch of other cells change, too. Except when they turn red, then it's bad news bears.

Ain't no shame in managing your money, it's real life. Contrary to popular belief, I am not, in fact, rollin' in hunnit dolla bills like most single working parents. The money tree in my back yard hasn't bloomed yet, doggone it. I can't go out and spendy-mcspend all my doll hairs on department store makeup. I buy that shit at the drug store. On sale. And I use ExtraBucks. I shop at Target and Kohl's for clothes. I don't buy stuff that isn't on sale, like ever. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would still be budget conscious if I were to be suddenly endowed with millions of dollars. (Does anyone have millions of dollars they would like to gift me to test this hypothesis? No? Worth a shot.) It's just a part of me. I track everything I spend and it's only slightly less stressful than having no idea if I'll have enough money at the end of the month to pay my cell phone bill. Or mortgage, whatever.

I may have lied. I'd totally buy a motorcycle if I suddenly came into millions of dollars. And I would get a maid. (Is that PC? Is it housekeeper like how stewardesses are now flight attendants?) And I would pay someone to install new carpet in my house instead of figuring out how to install carpet on stairs myself. Actually, I'd get hardwood and pay someone to install that. I'd also pay someone to paint my 20 foot walls. And I would go stay in one of those huts that are in the water in Fiji or Tahiti or someplace way out of my price range, which isn't difficult because my current price range is Galveston. 

All I want in the world is a clean house, a motorcycle, wood floors and a nice, neutral gray living room. And an extravagant beach vacation. It's not like I'm high maintenance. Probably most importantly, I'd make it rain on some bitches set aside money for college for my son. Then I'd get back to using my ExtraBucks for mascara and tracking it in my spreadsheet. What would you do if money were no object?


  1. But really, how much it costs to get carpet installed on stairs is crazy. It would be cheaper to rip out the stairs and install a ramp..or a slide.

  2. I'm with you! I want a motorcycle. And a house. But, mostly a motorcycle. I'll rent forever just so that I can continue living in complete badassery.

    ....Maybe not. I'm still a responsible badass. (Is that an oxymoron?)

  3. Girl, I'm with you. I don't call myself a single parent (even if the government assigns me that title) but I can relate to this. Buying my stuff at the thrift store/Craigslist/Target/Kohls/FB garage sale sites. If it ain't on sale, I ain't getting it. But if money weren't an option, I'd pay off all my bills, put some aside in savings, buy a house and travel. Cover all my basics. And give 10% to select charities because I do that now. And I'd probably quit my job to volunteer for the rest of my life. I think that's it lol


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