Sometimes I make the mistake of reading the mean things people write on the internet. Most of the time it's a train wreck of poor grammar about famous people, but on a rare occasion it's about me and/or this silly little blog. Who am I to judge that? I'm the narcissist that writes about my mundane life with the expectation that at least one other person cares. (Hi, Aunt B.) 

Sometimes I post pictures I shouldn't. Sometimes my jokes aren't funny or I unintentionally make someone feel bad. What I've learned: Be careful what you say and do in writing. You never know how words can be misconstrued without hearing the tone behind them. How many times have I misread a text and gotten miffed? Like a billion. I actually get more miffed when people don't reply to my texts, but that's neither here nor there. (But seriously, we were JUST talking. Did you throw your phone out the window?)

Sometimes I eat food I shouldn't, especially with my weird, asshole stomach. Ya know, like the pizza and cinnamon roll I had on Saturday. This happens more often than I care to admit. What I've learned: I actually do have a weird condition and I have to eat accordingly. For a while I thought, nah, that's not true. It can't be. I'm tough, this couldn't happen to me. I'm just being a wuss. Welp, it sure did happen.

Sometimes I don't listen when I should, and it's mostly because I'm stubborn and independent and/or afraid of what I'm hearing, like that time I should have listened to my doctor about knee recovery, should have listened when my dad told me to wear sunscreen as a kid, should have listened when "insert older, more experienced person here" gave my dumbass advice. I am a much better listener the older I get, and I wear spf daily now. So, there's that. Thank goodness spray tans are a thing, that way when I want to appear slightly darker than my usual translucent, I have a reasonable non-cancer-inducing option. (Probably.) Thanks, science. What I've learned: Some people are smarter than me and I need to not be a dick about it.

Sometimes I talk too much and/or say things I shouldn't. I definitely curse too much. What I've learned: Sometimes it's best to not show your whole hand, so stfu and watch the shitshow. 

Sometimes I do bandwagon stuff, like cheer for whatever team in the sports game or see the movie everyone is talking about (ahem, 50 Shades. (Short review: it was fine. Better than expected, definitely not a cinematic masterpiece. It was very Twilight-y.)) Sometimes I do really uncool stuff, like organize my shirts by sleeve length or watch all the Star Wars movies in one day. Don't tell me how to live my life. What I've learned: Nobody fits completely into one category or mold.

Sometimes I make interesting life choices that other people don't understand. Sometimes I don't even understand the full weight of a decision when I make it, that's part of living and learning. What I've learned: Nobody really knows what they're doing, so I won't judge if you don't. Even if you do, I still won't.

Sometimes I get jealous. Sometimes I feel threatened and insecure. That's just a product of life and getting hurt in the past, and probably hormones or PMS or something, I don't know. What I've learned: I'm a girl about some stuff. Sue me.

Despite my long list of shortcomings, I will say that I'll never use internet anonymity to cut down another person. Just like how having the experience of waiting tables made me a much better tipper, being in this position where strangers who have a limited view into my life find it acceptable to be rude has taught me to be wise with my words - that they are cutting, and behind every Instagram account, Twitter handle, Facebook page and so on, there's a real person writing things they think will help you, make you laugh or connect with you in some way. In fact, I should probably do a better job of commenting the positive things I think about people. I'm a liker and very rarely a commenter.

So for funsies, here are some things you may not know about me:

1. I watch The Walking Dead and Masterchef Junior every week. They're my programs. (pronounced "pro-gruhms")

2. I'm constantly doing things. It's hard for me to just sit and watch tv without doing something else like cooking, writing, cleaning, so on. And I never nap unless I'm seriously ill. I legit hate naps, I wake up all kindsa angry and I Hulk out on whoever is nearby. The worst. My kid got that part of my DNA, so that's fun.

3. In my real job that I get paid for, I'm a graphic designer/communications specialist. I love it. It's like being an artist that gets paid and has insurance benefits and a 401k. Boo-yah.

4. I'm ridiculously good at Bananagrams and fooseball. Not at the same time. Also, Harry Potter trivia. I can't wait to read the books with my son.

5. I'm terrible at MarioKart. Probably because I'm a woman.

6. I was made fun of in elementary and middle school for my glasses and general lack of hygiene. The good news is I still have glasses and I still only bathe every other day (if you're lucky), so you do you, baby. I turned out fine. Mostly.

7. I'm in a book club because I'm so basic.

8. I love lists. I list out everything from groceries to chores to projects and check off items as I go. Is checking off an item from your to-do list not the best feeling ever? It's like a high for task-oriented people.

9. I'm not OCD at all, which is why I'm ending this list at 9 without an ounce of remorse.


  1. I loved this! Thank you for sharing your life and just being honest about real life. It's extremely refreshing to read!

  2. you are one of my favorite blogs to read. keep keepin' it real, girl.

    1. Thank you! I also like beer and babies, for the record.

  3. Feelings about Sunday's episode of TWD? I was left feeling... meh.... and then - hi there squeaky clean LL Bean catalog model.... whatcha doin?

    1. Yeah, it was a very blah episode in general, and then BAM who the eff are you and where is your shower? Also I'm sorta getting to the point where I'm like, okay. How's this gonna end, because are we just gonna be fighting zombies forever?

  4. You're my favorite, and not just because you once gave me Pomeranian grooming advice (although that did strengthen our nonexistent blogger-creeper bond), but because you're all kinds of witty and motivational and other adjectives that make up this run on sentence. Basically, you get an A+ in life.

    1. Pomeranian grooming is serious business. Look up @jiffpom on IG, speaking of perfect grooming. Thanks for reading/ grading! I think I'm more of a B+, because I like to Be Positive. Eh, see what I did there?

  5. Checking things off your to-do list = instant gratification!
    Your "silly little blog" makes me (and many others) smile each time you post; don't sell yourself short! Your witty and honest and you make this girl all the way from Canada laugh on loud with every blog! :)

    1. Geez, talk about poor grammar - should read "You're witty and honest..."

    2. Hey girrrrrrrl! Shout out to Canada. Thanks for reading!

  6. Love your blog!!! I love when I see there is a new post from you in my Bloglovin feed! Sending love from NY -Lindsay :)


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