Birthdays and abs

Y'all, I found out my manfriend's kid's birthday was this weekend on Thursday night and pulled a Minecraft cake out of my ass by Saturday. I mean, not literally. But still. Totally nailing this dad-has-the-coolest-girlfriend charade I'm pullin'.

What a creeper, amiright?
That's only funny if you play Minecraft.
Or I could just explain it.
These green dudes are called creepers.

And what a PERFECT excuse to try Starbucks' new birthday cake frappuccino. (To this day, I have no idea how to spell that word.) Who cares if he wasn't with me, it's the thought that counts. For the record it's super good, but there's no coffee in it, so what's the point? I like my coffee like I like my men, strong and existent. 

This was after froyo Friday with my kid and dad. And after we also had Freebirds for dinner because my dad "would rather spend his money on us than some date". (Ladies, he's singllllle.) And after I ate more cake scraps and icing leftovers than I care to admit. (Let's just call it QA.) It was, however, before I had an actual piece of cake. And Taco Bell (<3) for breakfast on Sunday. And also half a milkshake. 

Epiphany: This is why I don't have abs.

With a shirt? I ain't even mad about it. I've lost 70lbs, son. #PROUD. I can have an eat-like-shit-weekend and not even worry about it. I weigh the same. My clothes still fit. Life is good. Without a shirt? Ehhhhhh, I could do better. It's not even about loose skin from being both fat and pregnant at the same time, it's about these last few stubborn pounds of fat. Why can't I eat pizza for every meal AND be skinny? (One of life's great questions.) 

Not much of a change from last week...but there is a little change. Baby steps to abz. I don't even want a six pack. I just want to not jiggle. Numero uno, I gotta keep my diet on point, because abs are made in the kitchen. Luckily I'm a woman, so I feel very comfortable there. Numero dos, getting back into a solid cardio routine will help burn the existing fat. And numero tres, ab work to define those muscles. That's my plan and I'm stickin' to it, unless you have better ideas. Or are a wizard that can magic me a flat stomach.


  1. Dad definitely has the coolest girlfriend! Was the cake a hit? We had the Minecraft theme for my son's birthday last year and last week we just rocked the Star Wars theme... he's kinda nerky too :)
    Do you make all your fondant from scratch or do you buy it?

    1. Awesome! I make it with this recipe: and it comes out super tasty! It's difficult to work with, fair warning.

  2. lol I've always bought it by the tub from a local bakery... I've heard nightmares about working with it and don't think I'm brave enough!


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