Adulting, sorta

Yesterday I cleaned the gunky hair glob out of my slow-draining bathroom sink and vommed in my mouth a little bit. Fact: Having to do that yourself is the worst part of being an adult with hair and toothpaste. I immediately texted manfriend and asked if he would please be on call to clean all future drains and dispose of the icky spider in the bottom drawer of my closet storage bin (and all future spiders and creepy-crawlies in general). A totally reasonable request. He's adorbs because he won't kill bugs, he scoops them up (in his BARE HANDS GROSS) and releases them back into the wild.

I am a strong, independent woman who just doesn't want to touch icky things. 

I'm slowly but surely training my spawn to squish bugs for me now. It's been a work in progress for a while, but I've finally made some progress. What good are children if they don't provide you with free labor? I GREW YOU INSIDE ME, go make me a sandwich. 

The other day he was playing with his toys in the living room, got up to go get something, returned with his shoe, FWAPPED it down on the ground, looked at the bottom of it, and then said "gotta go scwape it in the twash", all while I stared at him in wide-eyed astonishment. Whose child is this? The poor victim was an ant that he just calmly handled. Excellent job, kid. How do you feel about disposing of a spider lurking in the bottom drawer of the closet storage bin? Asking for a friend.

In other news, I signed up for another triathlon on July 26 because I've forgotten what Texas summer is like. Fingers crossed they don't cancel the swim! Note to self: get faster so you don't come in second to last place in your age group. Just don't drown. 

Comments

  1. Ha!! I will totally kill bugs but I WILL NOT touch the food that remains in the drain catch. WILL. NOT. I have gagged one too many times at just the thought of accidentally grazing that shit when the water won't drain.

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    1. GROSS. I'm not into that either, but I will lick that globby food mess before I trap/kill/touch a cockroach. More like a NOPEroach.

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  2. This made me laugh. I am the bug killer and disposer in my house... I live with 2 little men and one big and they all scream like school girls when they see a bug. I can't do the hair thing or clean toilets so I will take bugs over those two things any day.

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  3. Ah, this just brought back memories of my having to reach into the unknowns to clean out my tub drain the other day, not cool, I think I shed worse than my golden retriever.

    I'll kill a bug, I have no issues with that. I've had to kill a spider for my big burly brother-in-law.

    However, there is a very clear, unwritten rule at our house-I will take care of anything with fur or feathers, the Hubs will take care of the snakes. The Hubs is terrified of mice, which I do not make fun of or torment him about because I'm terrified of snakes and he is also kind enough not to torture me about it. We get along just fine :)

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    1. Ha, that's the key to a lasting marriage!

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