This week

Let's PARTY! This is the first time in a LONG time that I've had a blog post every day for a week. High fives all around for ignoring my kid!

I'm realizing the serious bummer that it is that my son deleted my non-backed-up phone a couple of weeks ago. TOTALLY my fault for not backing it up. But still, I lost pictures all the way back to Christmas. (SAD FACE)

I ate expired oatmeal on Monday because I like to live on the edge. And because I had the most terrible yogurt as my alternative option - Chobani 100 calories or light or whatever they call it. Other Chobanis are GREAT. The 100 cal option? Nah, bro. I took a bite and decided I'd risk gut rumblings from expired food before I finished it. I do like the Kroger brand 100 calorie Greek yogurt though. Recommend.

My neighbor has a lawn ornament of a cat riding a bike with rainbow wheels and now I can't put anything in my yard because they immediately win.

Or maybe I just need to get more serious about a quest for epic yard decor.

This week in thanks-for-being-awesome:

One of you sent me a Starbucks gift card in response to my newly acquired gold member status, and it MADE MY DAY. My daddy didn't raise no ungrateful daughter, but I don't have any contact info for you so I made you this:

I am VERY excited to use it to buy the person's coffee behind me in the drive thru to start a giving chain of unknown duration.

My favorite comment of the week because y'all make me lol:

From Instagram.
It stemmed from her initially misreading my shirt.
Y'all are hilarious.

I hope you all get to get day drunk at the pool this weekend! Also, follow me on twitter and tweet me something hilarious and then I'll tweet you something hilarious and then we'll all laugh and laugh and briefly forget that our property taxes went up or that the car needs new tires or that douche at work was being particularly douchey. Deal? Deal.


  1. Ahhh! I am Internet famous!! Life complete...though not exactly the "TMZ front page" thing I was going for. I am planning on "sucking it in" all weekend (and by that I mean my sexy gut and also adult beverages...clearly). In that case, I hope you too suck it in all weekend long. My god, this gets dirtier the longer I type.


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