Cry-oh man that's cold

Trendy fitness. Fad diets. They appear out of nowhere and then fade just as quickly, because the only real way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat right and exercise. I'd love a shortcut just as much as anyone, but there just isn't one. Not one with any staying power, at least.

The thing is, I like to get weird/skeptical with new technology, so when my coworker asked me if I wanted to get in a -250° Fahrenheit chamber for 3 minutes in the name of muscle gainz, I was all, "Yeah, that sounds cool." (GET IT?) And we made it so. 

Beam me up, Scotty.

Cryotherapy, a 3 minute stint in a -250°F chamber cooled by liquid nitrogen, supposedly has a ton of benefits, including stress relief (uh, sign me up please), speeding injury recovery, burning 800 calories in 3 minutes (um, WHAT?), increasing metabolism, reducing cellulite and generally giving you more energy. Yeah okay, whatever. Show me the science, because all of those purported benefits are in the brochure of the cryotherapy place. Of course they're going to spin it like it's glitter and rainbows. A turd covered in glitter is still a turd, y'all. I'm not saying cryotherapy is a turd, I'm just saying it's smart to peel back some layers.

According to science, cryotherapy is an expensive ice bath. It has the same effects, so sure, it works for muscle recovery and decreased inflammation, and even increased energy levels, but it's not necessarily a brand new cure-all for your cellulite or acne. But hey, if it's good enough for the Mavs, it's good enough for me, and it's possible that it affects people differently. Plus, I don't have enough ice or patience to do a daily ice bath and I like feeling like I'm on Star Trek.

You guys, it's called the Space Cabin.

You get in the space cabin nekkid except for socks, slippers and gloves. Men have to keep their undies on lest they risk frostbite to their one-eyed soldier. The tech will talk to you to make the 3 minutes go by faster, and you move around to make sure it doesn't burn you. After going with coworkers I bought this living social deal for a month of daily sessions, so I'll let you know how it plays out. Or you could buy it too and we can have cryo parties. There's a Taco Bell just down the street. Bonus? Methinks so.

When I get out of the chamber, my knee feels a lot better and I definitely do have more energy, but the next day my knee pain is back in full force, so I'm not sure about the long term effect. I've only been 3 times though. I'm going to power through the whole month and try to go as close to daily as possible and see what happens. YOLOBETCH.


  1. I saw a buzzfeed video where people tried that out. It looks like it would be neat to try. Curious to see how you feel after a month.

    1. It's definitely interesting. It's the treatment of the future. Or something.


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