Things the VMAs taught me

1. Big Sean is not big at all.

2. White fringe is in(?)

3. Macklemore slayed. Seriously into it. 

4. Fetty Wap is a person and not slang for something sexual.

5. Jean jackets tho?

6. Miley's outfits were...neat. I see she is exploring new frontiers regarding cutouts and ball placement.

7. I thought Kanye didn't smile in public. Wrong.

8. Bieber's performance kinda reminded me of Kanye doin' Kanye things. His dancing part would be a GREAT workout. All that jumpin', man.

9. Miley smokes weed. K.

10. Ohhh The Weeknd is the guy with the hair situation that sings that song. I thought it was a band, not a person. Nope, wrong. Just one guy.

11. Kanye's neat and I like him, but I'm not sure I'd vote for him. Read: I definitely would not vote for him. Also, pretty sure he's not a millennial. 

12. Jared Leto has a terrifying calm about him. He may or may not be a rad choice for Joker and/or go on a murderous rampage.

13. I'm old because I didn't recognize at least half of the artists. And also because of everything else on this list.

Comments

  1. thank you for writing this...I had to turn it off about halfway through because I just couldn't handle any of it any longer but mostly Miley.

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    1. Is this what our parents felt like when we went ape for boy bands? Probably. It's all coming full circle.

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  2. I stopped even casually tuning in a few years ago #getoffmylawn but I still enjoy the recaps. Especially gifs of TSwift dancing in the audience or Jaden Smith #nothavingit face.

    PS number 12^^ YES.

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    Replies
    1. I LOVE award shows for no real reason. I'll probably always watch and heckle the young 'uns like the crotchety old woman I am.

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  3. I just can't even with the VMAs, even reading about them second hand has made me sad - were they this "shocking" when I was growing up? It is all just weird, I don't really like any of the music and Miley just tries too hard (twss). #iamanoldster #jaredletocandoanything

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    1. I think it was always pushing boundaries. Didn't Howard stern wear assless chaps once or something? Soon the VMAs will be the naked award show and it will be totally normal to arrive with your t&a proudly hanging out.

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  4. I did not watch the VMA's at all lol so thank you for this list! and I really like The Weeknd, and its really just one guy???? whaatttt?? wow I'm just as cool as I thought I was.

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    Replies
    1. Yep, one dude. My sentiments exactly. Oh well.

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