House Nerky

Have you ever jokingly posted a snarky, profanity-laden online dating profile because you are SO DONE with it only to have it answered by someone who is unexpectedly easy to talk to considering he's not your usual type, who then asks you to go bowling and eat burgers on your first date and he gets the exact same score both games you bowl (98) and you get a 136 one game and 60 the next game, pretty much perfectly demonstrating his consistency and your all-over-the-place-ness? And then you're relieved when he asks you out again even though you messed up the names of the Star Wars movies like a putz, and you agree partly because he looks really cool on his motorcycle and you want to ride it and partly because it's been a while since you've had a second date? And then that second date he borrows a helmet from a friend so you can ride his bike, because safety first, and that turns into countless dates and then your kids all play together and get along and weeks turn into months and dates turn into netflix and chill and then eventually you're like, dammit it's really far to drive over here, we should probably buy a castle to live in, and then he sends you a listing for a house that's more reasonable and then you're like shit is he for real so you ask him, "Um, wait...what? Wait. What?" because you're smooth AF and he's all, "Might as well," because he really knows how to make a girl feel special and then you're like, oh damn should we get a realtor? And then all of a sudden you're cleaning your condo that you bought and decorated on your own and it's listed for sale and holy shit you're going halfsies on a mortgage with a man with tattoos who's into fitness and cooks for you shirtless like you like, because you went to look at that one house and it was perfect for your family merger?

Oh, just me then? YOLO.

I can't wait to paint ALL the nerd murals in House Nerky, y'all. If it all goes according to plan, my condo and his house will sell quickly and we'll close on House Nerky at the end of the month.

To answer the burning question(s): No, we're not married, engaged or pregnant. I know you were thinking it, don't even lie. We're just a bold, modern couple buying a house together out of wedlock, because we're GD rebels.


  1. Good for you!! And more power to ya. Do what works for you.

  2. Whoop!! Sounds like the best plan for mortgage living and family blending nowadays.

  3. Awesome- Congrats to you!!! :) Enjoy painting the new home and making it yours/his/mine/ours together!

  4. Yay! How flippin exciting! Congrats!

  5. Awesome! And yeah, I was thinking it.

  6. GD Rebels are the best types of rebels! Enjoy and good luck!


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