Goodbye, Nerky Condo

I'm gonna miss my cute lil condo and all the girliness in it when I move (cross your fingers the housing gods grant us some sympathy and we actually do close on House Nerky this Friday). I mean I guess I'm taking my girliness with me, but still. That's actually one of the feedback responses I've gotten from all the showings I've had - literally at least one a day, most of the time more, for the past month or two. It's a real bitch and a half keeping it show ready with a 4 year old and a dog, and I'm a pretty clean person in general. Anyway, people have said it's too girly. I'm like, whatever dude, YOU'RE too girly. Man up and get some mufuckin' paint and make yourself a cute lil mancave, you baby.


I bought this condo a few months after I got divorced. It wasn't what I was looking for initially, but I fell in love with it the first time I walked in. It was quaint, it had character and there are 2 Targets within 10 minutes. Sold. When I was married, my ex-husband decorated the house in warm neutral colors, ya know, tan and brown. I didn't get to put my stamp on it with the exception of a Super Mario wall mural in my kid's room, so when I bought this place I said NO TAN. JUST, NO. I wanted cool, bright colors. So I made it so because ain't nobody the boss of me.


I also didn't want to buy a furniture set. So I didn't.

I never got around to painting that windowy wall.
I had to work up serious courage to paint the teal and gray walls.
Heights, you know.
But I did it, because I'm not a wuss.

Give me bright teal and white with a gray base tone and metallic accents ALL DAY LONG. 

Never got around to painting the tv wall either.
Heights, you know.

The patterned staircase wall might be a scotche of the girliness people are commenting on. Whatever, maybe I'll paint over it after I move out. If I stayed here, I was going to knock those walls out and put in staircase rods and rail to open it up. 

I had plans to do this cool ombre effect on the tv wall, so I guess I'll save that idea for the new house where there will be people around to come to my aide if I fall off the ladder.

That teal is SO bright and happy, amiright?

When I bought this place, all of the walls were builder's white except that teal wall, which was chocolate brown. You know how I feel about that. It was the FIRST thing I painted. My dad gave me a ladder for Christmas that year and I got that shit handled.

I remember when I got all of those bookcases behind the kitchen table and the white desk and purple chair combo. I had 7 boxes of shit to put together and my friend came over and told me she could call her boyfriend to come do it for me. Calling my manfriend to come do it for me never even crossed my mind. Instead, I texted him pictures of my wine glass needing a refill as I was working.

Living alone has taught me that I can handle stuff. I'm strong. I'm capable. I'm even sorta handy. I don't need a man, I  want one, not to put stuff together for me, but to be a partner in life stuff, to buy me flowers and to be my Player 2. (Because I'm totally first player, don't argue.)

Probably my least favorite room, decor wise.

A surprising amount of cabinet space considering the size of the condo.
The pantry is huge too.

I had big plans for the kitchen. When I moved in, I loved that the counters weren't your typical white, boring counters. I had planned to paint a light gray and white chevron or striped wall with coral accents (how's that for girly), but I never got around to it due to life and stuff. I also had trouble deciding on a cabinet color and FACK that's a lot of doors to remove, sand and paint/stain. That project would have taken more than a weekend and I just never found the time.

Having an office loft sounds way fancier than I am.

I wish I would have gotten around to doing hardwood floors upstairs. It was a goal, but I wanted to paint all the walls first. But, heights, you know. I don't even really use this office space as an office, it's usually more of a tickle fight arena with my spawn. (D'aww.)

My kid doesn't even like Cars.

When my son was younger, he loved anything with wheels. Anything. Hotwheels. Remote Control Cars. Skateboard. Stroller. Anything. So natch, I thought he would LOVE Cars the movie and I made his room theme "things that go". Turns out he hates that movie, so that's real cool. I had already painted Lightning McQueen though, so I left it. His bed is a Batmobile, and on the wall you can't see there's an airplane with a real propeller that spins that my manfriend made with his own hands when we first started dating. I'm pretty sure he did it to impress me and it totally worked. I painted the hot air balloon picture on the green wall too.

Now I have the v. exciting task of painting a Hulk and Iron Man battle scene in his new bedroom. And a sunset on tatooine fresco in the entryway. And whatever his kids want in their rooms. I can't even wait. Also if you live in Dallas-ish, or are willing to pay my travel expenses, and need a mural for your home or business, I'm available for hire. (Shameless plug. (But this whole blog is a shameless plug, soooo.)) Typically I don't recommend doing character murals, but rather, scenes. A kid may grow out of loving Elsa, but painting a cool princess castle will last longer and save you the money and hassle of paying me to repaint it.

The bathroom we share.

I painted those cabinets and attached the hardware, which were formerly the standard builder's color of the kitchen cabinets. I love doing little home improvement projects like this. I had intended to frame the mirror and upgrade the lights, so maybe we'll tackle something like that together in the new house. I also painted the half bath and upgraded the hardware in there too.

I'm kind of excited to have a true master bathroom, but sharing with my son has been so convenient for learning to brush teeth, potty training and getting ready in the morning in general. I'll miss the closeness of everything as I go from 1,300 square feet to over 3,000, but I'm also nervous to go from a 2 person, 1 dog house to a 7 person, 2 dog, 1 cat and 1 fish house. That's a lotta people/animals and I need an escape room to shut out the chaos every so often. And also probably a maid.

Where the selfies happen.

The bed? Put together myself. The leaner mirror? Toted it home in my car and carried up the stairs myself. Green dresser? Same. Curtains? Hung that shit with real tools, and I was very excited for these in particular because it's a double rod (heyooo) so the blue curtains can be closed while the beige ones are open. I had planned to dye the beige ones ombre, but I never got around to it. Maybe in the new house. Also, hanging curtains is the worst. The. Worst. But I will not rely on someone else to do it for me, because I can do it. Independence is important. Teaching my kid to do things for himself is important. 

Living alone forced me to prove to myself that I'm a capable human. I feel like I could handle myself in the event of a zombie apocalypse, ya know?

I strongly recommend anyone to own property before they truly settle down. Plus, you get to build equity and then bank when you sell it, barring the housing market isn't being a dillhole. 

I may need to look for a slightly less girly comforter now that I'm sharing my bed with a manly man, but I'm pretty sure he's not that picky. Also I'm looking forward to having a much bigger closet for all of my shoes. Turns out I'm the girliest tomboy ever. 

I'll miss my condo, but I'm also excited about moving forward. Living with other people means I don't have to do all the chores. It means I don't have to cool all the food. It means I can go for a run in the morning before my kid wakes up. It also means I'll probably have to wear pants all the time. On second thought, maybe I should bail on this whole plan.


  1. Girl your condo is ADORABLE! I am in love with your living room!!! Too bad you must leave it!


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