The elephant in the room

Let's talk about the elephant in the room.


I painted a purple elephant in photoshop class last night. Mostly inbetween the steps of the lesson about painting a landscape because I don't like painting landscapes (in photoshop or otherwise). But the real exciting news is that, as of 10pm last night, I'm done with my photoshop class and officially 3/10 done with my graphic design certificate. w00t. I'm also done with night classes for the rest of the month and that's the best news because mama's tired.

Speaking of purple elephants (who has multiple stories about purple elephants? me.), one time when I was a kid my dad took my brothers and me to Vegas because he's straight ratchet, and because we weren't 21, Vegas wasn't fun for us in the way it's fun for us now (getting married on a whim and searching every casino for Buffalo Stampede slot machines because some rando in Austin said to play them and them only). So we spent our time in the midways for kids while my dad did cocaine off of celebrities. Just kidding, he was with us. (Doing cocaine off of celebrities.)

So anyway. Nobody did cocaine and we didn't see any celebrities. But I did learn that I'm extremely gifted at ring toss games. You know the one with the little rings that you throw and try to get it on the coke bottles? Yeah. I win at that, turns out.

When the ring clanked around the the bottle neck, my face lit up as fast as my dad's heart sank because he was the poor bastard that had to carry the 3.5 foot tall purple gorilla that I won around Vegas. So much for hookers and drugs, amiright?

The thing is, that bastard was too big to take home on the plane (and the gorilla was too, heyoooooo), and because I was an 8 year old asshole, I WOULD NOT just leave him there. So my dad paid like a zillion doll hairs to ship the giant stuffed monkey back to Texas. 

Now would be an excellent time to show a picture of the giant stuffed purple gorilla (that I named "Purp", because I'm creative AF), but I don't have one, so sorry to disappoint. 

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