Whoopsie daisies

Do you ever think to yourself, goddamn I'm dumb sometimes, why did they give me a degree? How am I even allowed to adult without supervision, much less regularly operate a motor vehicle?

I'm pretty sure I don't know how a 4 way stop is actually supposed to work. I'm probably the one everyone hates for going out of turn. I'm sorry.

Literally every time I send a meeting request from Outlook for work, I fuck it up in some way or another. One time all I did was delete an unsent request from my calendar, which effectively notified everyone on the list of a conference cancellation, for which the original invite had never been sent, nor had the conference even been announced. Cool. Real smooth. I revised my resume to say "proficient in MS Office with the exception of Outlook, at which I am a total dipshit".

I dropped scissors pointy side down while barefoot on Monday. That was 2.5 seconds of shear terror. (See what I did there? Shear?)

I once poured beer into hot oil. I do not recommend this. It exploded, because science. I didn't get the deposit back on that apartment.

I used the wrong "there" in an email at work. It was the single most heart-sinking realization I've had at work when I noticed it after it had already been sent.

My point is, I'm a well-educated straight A honor roll honors society college degree'd mofo, and also a total fuckup. It's called balance.

And that's okay. Mistakes make us human and brain farts make life interesting.


Tell me a totally dumb thing you've done in the comments! We can all be human today together.

Comments

  1. It's all good. I have a Master's Degree in Business Management and for the life of me I cannot real a financial statement or balance my check book successfully..... Did you know you're supposed to keep receipts?

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha keep receipts? Nahhhhh. Audit shmaudit.

      Delete
  2. I couldn't remember the word for closet so I said room garage! Ugh I hate when I accidentally use incorrect grammar! I'm an English major and I feel like everyone is judging me even more hardcore on that hahahah

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    Replies
    1. I've totally done that! I mean, not EXACTLY that, but you get it. Our brains clearly like to mess with us.

      Delete
  3. I thought blueberries had pits like cherries...and I'm 29...FYI, they don't have pits.

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  4. I was picking up a vehicle from auto shop after an oil change. The key fob "unlock" button wouldn't work. I went back in to inform them that the door would not unlock. The guy looked at me for about 2 minutes, then said - "you know you can use the actual key to unlock it, right?" Ummm, oh. Yeah. I could do that.

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  5. I put my appointments in outlook for the wrong time or wrong day every flipping time.

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  6. I remember at work once I had to type out a letter and I could not for the life of me spell the word "if". Couldn't do it. I sat there trying to sound it out, type it different ways thinking it would pop out at me and no. Almost a half hour was wasted and that's when I knew I could never go back and get my Bachelor's in English. It's all over for me now. LOL

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  7. I went back to college as a grown-ass adult and had to suffer through a "communication" (speech) class. The instructor provided some examples of pass oral presentations such as snake milking. My immediate comment was "WHO WOULD DRINK THAT?!?". I'm a dumb-ass.

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