I can check "host Thanksgiving" off my bucket list now, and we didn't even have any awkward family political rants. Fact: I've never made most traditional Thanksgiving dishes. We didn't really do Thanksgiving when I was a kid, and now I get why. My dad didn't want to dick with it. Jesus H, that's a lotta cookin'. Plus, it's taken 7 people eating the same meal for the past 4 days and we still have leftovers. 

Poll: Is it acceptable to put peach pie filling in fruit salad? Because that's apparently how some people do it and I was APPALLED to learn this about my husfriend. Then I tasted it and it's kind of amazing. I mean, the peaches are so soft and flavorful. 

After Thanksgiving I had the brilliant idea of doing family pictures. I bought a camera from Amazon a while back to practice my paparazzi skillz, and we don't have any good pictures of all of us, so YOLO let's get everybody matching outfits, rest our hands on each other's shoulders and look up and to the left and say "farts". 

The look on her face = "whatabuncha assclowns"

Have you ever tried to get a picture of 7 people, including yourself? Nah, gurl. It's not gonna work out. I was running (in heels, obvi) to hit my mark in the 10 second delay, family picture circa 1990 style, all for naught because the lens we had on the camera made the pictures all weird, which I didn't notice until I got them on my computer, and I don't know enough about lenses to know why. Cool, no pictures of everyone then. Good thing I removed that lens for the individual pictures. But then this kid was in a mood because he didn't get the blue bowl, that kid wouldn't just POSE FOR THE GODDAMN PICTURE AND GET IT OVER WITH, this one wouldn't smile a regular smile, that one is in his own little world and not paying attention, that one ran off to go pee in the yard, and so on. Y'all, I reached my limit. I had to leave. 

I went and bought some noise cancelling headphones and an ice cream. I legit left the premises. I ate the ice cream alone in my car, then I went home, put my headphones on, and got some work done amidst the chaos. Because this is real life and it's LOUD AF. Most of the time I'm thankful for it, but sometimes I just need a solitary ice cream and some peace and quiet to reset.



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