Redo

Okay, some shit from 2016 seeped into my 2017, so I'm gonna need to hit the reset button on this year. It's not too late, right? I went in for what was supposed to be a partial meniscus removal surgery - one that I could have walked out of and had very little physical therapy before getting back to dancing like a Rockette - and emerged from blissful anesthesia with a full-on ACL repair and double partial meniscus removal.

Guys, I didn't even do anything to deserve it this time. I just showed up at the doctor's office and they went on autopilot for the standard nerky protocol. One ACL repair, coming up! Naw, my doc is great. He said it was frayed to hell and just sort of fell apart when he touched it with his doctor tools. Gross, but I'm glad he fixed it while I was already under. Why was it frayed? He suggested poor blood supply, so I'm gonna roll with that. So here we are again, getting my money's worth out of this sexy leg brace.

I'll say that, although this surgery was unexpected and extremely painful and unpleasant for the first few days, my second surgery was worse. Possibly because it included double meniscus repair, rather than removal, possibly because I didn't know I could ask for anti-nausea meds after anesthesia - last time I literally hobbled to my bathroom the day after surgery just to lay my face on the cold tile to avoid vomming (the WORST when your leg is fukt). This time I asked for something to combat that feeling, because I'm now a 3 time ACL surgery veteran. I know things. Important things. Helpful things.

Like, paint your toenails before surgery. Also trim your bush (if you're into that sort of lawn maintenance). You have to take baths, rather than showers like a normal adult, for about 2 weeks to avoid getting your incision wet, and who wants to sit in a tub with little brown curlies floating around? Take care of it. Ask for the anti-nausea patch and pills. Plan to be off work for like 4 days before you feel okay enough to be up and around. I went back a scotche too soon and it was a miserable day. And then I got rear-ended on my way home. The universe's way of telling me I went back a bit too soon? Maybe. Way to pile it all on, universe.

Fun fact, I bought this car a month ago. It's all good though, I'm getting it fixed this week, my leg feels a lot better, I got to sleep last weekend and physical therapy doesn't suck. Things are great!

This all brings me to my New Years resolution this year. I just have one, and it's simple. After a whirlwind of a year with a new (huge) family, lots of kids, trying to navigate being a mom vs. being a stepmom, figuring out schedules and how to do everything, my resolution is to be more selfish. 

Sorry kids, not picking up your shit. You do it. 

Sorry husfriend, I didn't plan dinner. You handle it, oh and have someone else do the dishes, take out the trash and clean the counters. 

Sorry kid, I'm taking time for me to exercise and/or take a class. This will not ruin your life. You are still loved and I am doing something that will make me a better mom/person.

Sorry coworkers, I'm not going to feel guilty about not staying late all the time. My personal life is important to me, whether I'm chillin' as a party of one or hanging out with my family. I'm going to do that and still get all my work done. Everyone wins.

Sorry husfriend/all boys in the house, I'm not cleaning the pee bathroom. I don't have outdoor plumbing, therefore I never miss when I go. I know it's probably not (always) you, but because you used to be a little boy with terrible aim, this is your destiny. Not mine. 

Sorry big kids, you need to pitch in with chores. I'm not the only person capable of washing dishes, dusting, vacuuming, mopping and taking out the trash. These are not talents solely bestowed on me by the almighty deity. You have these powers too. Use them.

Sorry self, you're an idiot when you silently seethe about something. Speak your mind and stop wasting time being angsty when whoever wronged you has literally no idea. They're not mind readers. 

Sorry little kids, you don't do what I ask you to do, then you don't get to do the thing you want to do. It's not a difficult concept, and I'm not a pushover. Suck it up, I'm not about that whine life.

Sorry husfriend/world, I'm not watching Fox News. I was easygoing about it this year, generally agreeing to disagree and moving on. Honestly I find it too exhausting. I don't care to watch CNN either, just throwing it out there. Let's watch a "My 600lb Life" marathon instead.

Taking time for myself will make me a better, happier human. After all, happy wife happy life, amiright? You can't pour from an empty cup. I'm worth it (hair toss). [Another motivational/borderline cliché saying here.]

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