My worst workout

Today I woke up at 5:15 to get to the gym by 5:30. It was cutting it close and I knew it was gonna be a rough morning because I stayed up til almost midnight last night working and watching DVR'd shows with my husfriend (Naked and Afraid XL and Last Week Tonight). So I rolled out of bed in my gym clothes because I sleep in my gear so I don't have to fight with a sports bra while half asleep and cursing everyone and everything around me. I made a quick serving of Spark to wake up, and sleepily sipped it as I headed out the door.

I've done this before. I'm stronger than I look, more determined than you think and stubborn as my grandma, which is reallyfugginstubborn. Also I'm in the mood for some humble pie, does anyone have a slice?

At the gym I warmed up with some squats and then hit it for upper body day. My trainer's workouts are about 30-40 minutes and he goes hard (on upper body day at least, he's a little more cautious with my knee on lower body day), which is what I'm paying him for so I ain't mad about it.
I hit:

- incline shoulder press 3x20
- standing rows 3x15
- bench press 3x12
- reverse crunches 3x20
- assisted pull ups 1x15, 1x10
- leg and knee raises 1x10 each

This is about 1/3 of the way into my workout at this point, around 5:45am. (So I've been awake for approximately 30 minutes with no fuel. This is important.) On my second set of assisted pull ups I just...couldn't. I couldn't lift myself up. My muscles just stopped. I got super clammy. I thought my stomach was going to simultaneously jump up my throat and out my nose, and fall out my butt. I was dizzy. I had to close my eyes to focus. I tried to pull up again. I. Couldn't. Do. It.

This has never happened to me before - not this extreme so soon into my workout. I used to get nauseated if I ran over 5 miles in 100 degree heat, but that's a little more understandable.

My trainer stopped me and asked what's up. My eyes are still closed and I'm focusing on mind over matter. I told him I just needed a second. I got back on the thing and tried again. Nope. I waited. I went to try again.

He said, "You didn't eat anything today, did you?" Nope. I barely even woke up in time to get here, much less early enough to process any kind of food.

We went to get some water and I started to go back to the machine. He said no no no, we're done for today. He said there's no way to fix this issue until I eat something. If I keep working out, the same thing will happen again. I conceded, tail between my legs. 

I felt like a big, giant vagina.

I asked what I should be eating before a workout. Here's the gist, because surely I'm not the only one that has made this n00b mistake (and don't call me Shirley):

45 minutes before workout:
1/2 cup oatmeal (cooked)
20g protein shake - either full scoop in water or 1/2 scoop in milk

Eating that much food at 4:45am sounds TURRIBLE, I tells ya.

Right after workout:
The only time to eat starches - white rice, white potatoes, etc. 
(So can I have fries? 
Protein - eggs, shake, whatever. Long as it's prot.

I'll try again tomorrow. Cheers to starting over and all the bullshit, pain, difficulties, sweat, tears, nausea, road blocks, endorphins, clear mood, muscle definition, weight loss, non-scale victories, sexiness and confidence that comes with it! 


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  1. Gurl! Way to go on getting up! The rest will come - but I gotta say eating at 4:45 sounds horrid! I can barely eat at 7am so I admire your dedication!

    1. Pfffffft if only I could do 5am workouts when I'm not meeting the trainer, ha!

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